Okay fellas, go outside and do some yard work, because us girls need to talk about “The Bachelor.” As you surely know by now, Brad Womack chose perky blonde Emily over Chantal in last night’s season finale, even though Chantal has bigger boobs and hasn’t passed a child through her vagina. Chantal, meanwhile, turned down the opportunity to be the next Bachelorette because she has since started dating a new guy, so the new Bachelorette will instead be Ashley Hebert (inset, crying), who has since dyed her hair back to its natural brown and it looks totally better, am I right girlfriends?
As for Brad and Emily, whoops: they’ve already broken up.
“Emily is so insecure, she just isn’t cut out for all the fame and attention her relationship is under,” a show insider tells me. “The six weeks of shooting the show in paradise was easy, away from prying eyes and photographers, but since they both returned to their normal lives things have been a disaster.” […]
“Emily is not able to forgive Brad for what she considers cheating week-after-week with other girls,” an in-the-know producer tells me. “It’s always hard sending the couple back into reality after they have been living in paradise, but no one in the history of the show has had as hard a time adjusting as Emily.” [PopEater]
There’s no official break-up yet, but the couple — who showed obvious cracks in last night’s “After the Rose” special (see video next page) — have released a statement about how they’re trying to work it out:
“At long last, Emily and I can be open to the world and each other about our relationship,” Womack, 38, and Maynard, 25, [said] in a joint statement Tuesday. “Though we are madly in love, it has been a bumpy couple of months for us and our priority right now is to focus on our relationship.” [People]
Translation: “Expect imminent news of our break-up.”
(Relevant YouTube videos of everybody on the next page.)
Brad and Emily on “After the Rose”:
Ashley on Kimmel Part 1:
Ashley on Kimmel Part 2:
