Titanic? Boat never sunk. Alive? Plane never crashed. Schindler’s List? Never happened. It’s all a bunch of made-up Hollywood hogwash.
The Martian? Now THERE’S a real-life story. In today’s reminder that we need to educate the sh*t out of KIDS TODAY, way too many people think Ridley Scott’s sci-fi movie, which scored October’s second-biggest opening weekend ever, was based on a true story. There are many problems with this assumption, namely: No, we didn’t leave Matt Damon, or even Meth Damon, on a barren planet, where he survives only on potatoes and gumption.
This should be obvious (Andy Weir is laughing to the bank), and yet:
https://twitter.com/sebastmemestan/status/648571364551561216
Things I didn't expect to overhear before a screening of The Martian:
"Is this based on a true story?"— Francis Idehen (@franco_blanco1) October 1, 2015
"Is this a true story?" – The woman next to me said to her date at The Martian last night.
— Mike Burns (@pizzanachos69) October 4, 2015
Heard a girl say to her boyfriend on the way out of The Martian 'was that true story?'
I couldn't believe he didn't dump her on the spot!— Brian Maher (@MrBrianMaher) October 2, 2015
Coming out of "The Martian", my sister asked "That's not based on a true story, right?". I curled into fetal position and quietly sobbed.
— Jack 🌻 (@jack_dot_bin) October 3, 2015
Sitting in the theater watching The Martian and some girl behind me asks if this is a true story…😂😂😂😑😑😑
— ✌❤🐺 (@GnastyGnate) October 6, 2015
https://twitter.com/camdenjoiner/status/649670169682423808
@OverheardDublin Girl 1 "Was that based on a true story?" Girl2 "WHAT?" Girl1 "Like Apollo 13" at Vue Liffey Valley after seeing The Martian
— Sarah (@SarahInNavan) October 2, 2015
Genuinely bothered that my mom thought The Martian was a true story.
— Hayden Picker (@HaydenPicker) October 5, 2015
As great as "The Martian" was, my favorite part was after when my grandma asks if it was based on a true story
— Richie Abruscato (@get___RICH) October 3, 2015
https://twitter.com/kaeepet/status/650245599254614016
Overheard two people talking at Panera about how THE MARTIAN was “based on a true story.”
— Mαtt Thomαs (@mattthomas) October 2, 2015
https://twitter.com/Cam_Knight/status/649914405157605376
https://twitter.com/Laurenreneehart/status/650019894189121536
Wait until she sees Fargo.
Somewhere out there, Neil deGrasse Tyson is delighted that people are talking about Mars, and furious that it’s for all the wrong reasons. He and Bill Nye should find these dumb-dumbs and make them watch Mission to Mars. I’d say slap some sense in them, but Mission to Mars is a crueler punishment.
