John Tesh Has The Only Good Twitter Account. Everyone Else Stop Tweeting.

You might not be aware of it, but John Tesh has lived a pretty incredible life, achieving success in a number of different fields in the entertainment industry. In fact, when you put all of his awards and notable achievements in one place — like, say, the second paragraph of his Wikipedia page — it almost sounds made up.

Tesh has won six music Emmys, has four gold albums, two Grammy nominations, and an Associated Press award for investigative journalism. Tesh has sold over eight million records. His live concerts have raised more than $20 million for PBS. He wrote the NBA on NBC basketball theme “Roundball Rock” regarded as one of the most memorable sports themes of all time. He is also known as the co-host of the television program Entertainment Tonight. He has previously worked as a sportscaster and host for the Olympic Games, Wimbledon, U.S. Open Tennis, Tour De France Bike Race, Ironman Triathlon and a news anchor and a reporter.

The Emmy-winning former co-host of a long-running syndicated entertainment show who won an award for investigative journalism and has four gold albums also wrote the most famous NBA theme song in history. Sure, why not?

And yet, somehow, none of those things are John Tesh’s greatest achievement. Not even close. John Tesh’s greatest achievement is creating the only good account on all of Twitter. An example from just yesterday:

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/656608845372878848

“Rock me Shrub-adeus.” Dear God. It’s beautiful.

And guess what: His entire feed is like that! Save a straggler here or there about how much he loves the musical Hamilton (note: very much) or a photo of his family and pets, John Tesh tweets weird facts and goofy self-help tips exclusively, all part of the publicity for his radio show, Intelligence for Your Life (hence the hashtags). And they’re about everything! Here are some examples from just the last month or so.

Worried about ticket scammers? Tesh got you.

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/655183909534109696

Nose hair plucking? Yup, that too.

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/654723030870986754

Food tips? Oh, John Tesh has food tips galore.

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/653975331699687424

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/651784272072736768

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/651419888930525184

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/651157492580220928

And miscellaneous tips, too!

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/649744939564208128

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/648537135662759936

https://twitter.com/JohnTesh/status/652507339828801536

The funniest part of this is that if you took all these tweets and posted them on an account called, like @LifeAndDietTips, I’d have no tolerance for it. None. But every time I see one pop up in my feed from John Tesh’s verified personal account, accompanied by his half-smiling face, I’m like, “Hey, thanks John Tesh! I had no idea how far ants traveled for food!” It really is remarkable. The man is an endless source of weird facts and useful tips, all of which he found time to acquire between doing all that other stuff. And it’s John Tesh! That’s the best part! Unless it’s an intern! Which I choose not to believe!

So yes, consider this official. John Tesh has the only good Twitter account. Everyone else shut it down. Except Dr. Ruth, I guess. Dr. Ruth can stay, too.