Things did not go well for Justine Kish at UFC Fight Night: Oklahoma City last week. Not only did she lose a unanimous decision to Felice Herrig (by 30-26 on two scorecards), but she ended up accidentally crapping her pants escaping a deep choke with thirty seconds left in the fight. Most people watching the fight probably didn’t even notice the smattering of brown stains on the canvas as it happened, but the few who did quickly notified the internet, and now the world is very aware that Kish dropped a deuce in the cage.
https://twitter.com/FancyCombat/status/879179055588921346
This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. It’s actually a lot more frequent than you’d imagine, what with fighters regularly cutting 15 to 30 or more pounds the day before a bout to make weight. Follow that up with all the crazy body stressors of a full contact fight, and we’re almost surprised this isn’t a monthly thing.
That being said, this was definitely one of the more visible incidents to ever occur in the UFC, and props to Justine Kish for taking the embarrassing situation in stride.
I am a warrior, and I will never quit #ShitHappens haha be back soon.
— Justine Kish (@JustineKish) June 26, 2017
She’s since been on a number of sports radio shows to discuss the incident, and hinted that UFC president Dana White threw a bonus check her way to make up for the endless s**t talk she’s likely to endure. She also may make some money off a sponsorship with the tastefully named Dude Wipes company, makers of high quality athletic ass wipes. If you think that’s a bit weird, just wait: it gets weirder. Some random internet perv offered her $15,000 for her soiled shorts.
“The most lucrative offer I’ve got is someone messaging me saying ‘Hey, we would love to pay’ because I didn’t get my winnings,” Kish told Submission Radio. “I would say I returned back with half of what I would have liked to have had. And so the most lucrative was ‘Hey, I would like to buy whatever kind of winnings you lost, I would like to buy your shorts for that same amount to hang them up’ and ‘blah, blah blah in my man cave.’ I was like, this is disgusting. There are some really disgusting people out there.”
“And so they offered me $15,000 for my shorts. Some man that wanted a man cave with my shorts – he has like a UFC shrine. He gave me his name, his email address, all these things. I really don’t want to give too much details, but that was the most lucrative offer and I’m not gonna … I mean, I don’t … I mean, why? I mean, people are saying, ‘send them over, just go do it.’ I’m like, oh, alright. Well I’ll give him my information, but I don’t see how this is actually real.”
Just to explain a little: UFC fighter pay is split into show and win money – you get your show money for showing up to fight, and the win money if you win. It’s usually 50/50, and in Justine’s case she earns $15,000 to show and $15,000 to win. Since she didn’t win, she missed out on that second $15,000 … until this mysterious UFC fan came along, that is. Normally we’d suggest Kish tell this person to get lost, but $15,000 is a lot of money for UFC fighters, especially one who just took a theoretical $15,000 loss on fight night.
