Michael Rapaport Wants His Fantasy Football With Zero Emotion

Week one of the preseason is in the books, now research for your fantasy football draft is underway. You’re buying increasingly irrelevant magazines, mock drafting from every position, reading sleeper and bust columns jam-packed full of pop culture references and listening to podcasts. You’re fully immersing yourself in the world of stat-heavy football glory. It feels good, doesn’t it?

One crucially important fantasy football muscle you may not be working out in the month of August is your ability to be a stone-cold brutal destroyer of fantasy joy. You must dominate your league without mercy. When fantasy football kicks off, you are no one’s friend. Now, ahead of the DraftKings Fantasy Sports Festival, Michael Rapaport is here to declare that emotions have no place in your fake football league. Spreadsheets don’t lie. Hard numbers that declare you the winner are the only truth. Make your picks. Don’t get caught up in players you love.

UPROXX: Tell us about this DraftKings Fantasy Sports Fest.

Michael Rapaport: It’s the fantasy football event of the year at Gillette Stadium. It’s gonna be me, Rob Gronkowski, Matthew Berry, Jim Breuer, Trey Wingo, on the field, live podcasting, doing the drills, not drafting. Gillette’s not drafting. We’re doing tours; It’s gonna be fantastic. It’s going down in the house that Brady built, August 20th. I can’t wait to meet the Gronk, the ‘Kowski. It’s gonna be a great day. It’s gonna be fantastic and you can get tickets at fantasysportsfest.com. Use the promo code “dancewiththedingo” and you save 15 bucks. And, as much as I’m excited about hosting it, I’m even more excited about participating, working with everyone that day. Being a fantasy Football analyst, as I am, I am also fan and I am a participant and I can’t wait to run around the field at Gillette.

You’re a Giants guy going to Gillette to hang out with Gronk. That’s gotta be conflicting. Are you someone who usually picks Gronk in your leagues?

Listen, one thing I understand about fantasy football is that there are no feelings in fantasy football. It’s very well documented, my personal feelings of the New England Patriots, but when it comes to fantasy, if it makes sense and the Gronk is available, I would love to have him on Rappaport’s Delight with Brandin Cooks with Tom Brady. But I don’t get emotionally involved. There’s no sentimentality when it comes to fantasy, and I’m gonna be breaking it all down with the Gronk, with Matthew Berry, with Pat McAfee, August 20th, in the house that Brady built.

You’ve been in a lot of leagues and teams over the years, but do you play a lot of Daily Fantasy?

Oh yeah, oh yeah. I take on all comers. Every game, every structure of league, every day of the week, I take on all comers. I do it for fun. It’s low-stakes, high emotional toll. With Daily, I just win. And even when I lose, I still win because of the emotional toll, the verbal exchange, that’s what it’s about. The dancing is what it’s about. Cause you’re not going to win every game with fantasy. It’s all about the dance. That’s why August 20th is gonna be great. It’s gonna be a beautiful day, and I’m gonna be talking about drafting techniques, and who better to talk about fantasy with than Matt Berry and Trey Wingo? And who better to talk about the reality of football and what’s really going on with the Patriots than the Gronk?

So exactly happened to @MichaelRapaport in the @sternshow fantasy league? I asked him on the @RichEisenShow. pic.twitter.com/AQaxjZqUyQ

— Michael Fabiano (@Michael_Fabiano) August 8, 2017

I want to get your insight on that. So you said that you were into drafting Brandin Cooks and there’s a lot of mouths to feed in New England. Do you think he’s going to be worth drafting?

I mean it depends on where you could get him. I think he’s gonna have a good season, and I think he’s worth it in the third or fourth round if he’s available, absolutely. You know I think that obviously, New England passes the ball around and they don’t have any preferential treatment, but I think Brandin Cooks is gonna have a good season and I think he’s gonna continue to have a good run with the New England Patriots going forward, even after this season. So yeah I think there’s definitely value with Brandin as long as it’s the right draft at the right time. There are no feelings in fantasy. There’s no sentimentality in fantasy. Don’t get emotionally involved with these guys.

I feel that. I’m from Chicago and personally, I never draft Bears because I just don’t wanna deal with it.

Yeah, no one wants to deal with that. How do you feel about your guy being back in the league? JC. Jay Cutler.

I’ve never drafted him. Back in the day when he was on Denver with Brandon Marshall it was awesome, but will he do anything for Jarvis Landry? I don’t know. I think he’s more of a help to DeVante Parker.

I think that the real winner here is Fox Sports, so that they never have to hear him call a game. I think that one’s gonna be a disaster.

Give me a sleeper that you’re consistently drafting and a bust that you’re consistently avoiding.

That’s a good question. Man, a bust. I hate to say it but I would stay away from Cam Newton. I love Cam, but I don’t think there’s enough consistency with Cam Newton. I feel like it’s just a little bit of a slippery slope with Cam right now and I still think he’ll have some really good games, but overall I don’t think he’s gonna do that good. Sleeper, there’s not really a sleeper in fantasy football anymore, but there’s so much information. There’s no surprises. I wouldn’t call him a sleeper, but I think Brandon Marshall is somebody that’s gonna do really good. I think that he’s gonna really help Odell Beckham. I think that Robert Woods is gonna do good. I think he’s gonna do very well, but again it’s hard say these guys are sleepers cause “sleeper” used to mean some kind of secret thing. So, I would say those guys. I think Martellus Bennett if he could really refer to Martellus Bennett – Superbowl Warrior – as a sleeper. C.J. Fiedorowicz later in the draft is gonna do well if you’re looking for a tight end.

Fiedorowicz I think you could say is kind of a sleeper.

He’s kind of a sleeper. C.J. Fiedorowicz I would say out of all those is probably the least known. Let’s say C.J. Fiedorowicz. It took me 16 weeks to figure out how to say his name last year. I couldn’t say his name properly, but then he started kicking butt for me on DraftKings daily games, and when they start winning you learn their name real quick.

Back to Cam Newton — Kelvin Benjamin looked great in his preseason game and he’s lost a lot of weight. Maybe he’ll help out Cam?

I would love to see him bounce back. I’m not picking him in the first two, maybe late in the third round. Maybe a late pick. Cam seems to throw the ball to his favorite guy, Greg with the third leg. I would love to see Kelvin bounce back, but last time it didn’t work out for me.

So right now, on DraftKings, the most expensive player is Le’Veon Bell, and he’s gonna be $9800 and he’s playing Cleveland week one. Would you spend that for Le’Veon?
Tough question. You know, it depends. I think week one, Cleveland, that’s a sure thing, but there are other options out there. It depends on what you want to do. There’s no sentimentality in it. Fantasy football is not about sentimentality. I think it depends on how many games you’re playing and who you’re playing against, but I think you’re not going to go wrong with Le’Veon vs. Cleveland week one. He’s gonna have a big week. It’s still the opening week of the season and he’s gonna go crazy. It just depends on how you balance him out to your roster. So I wouldn’t say don’t pick him, you just have to be able to balance out the rest of the roster.

Right, because Frank Gore is the cheapest starter and he’s only $4300 against the Rams.

Wow.

So maybe you pair him with a Frank Gore?

That’s a good combination for the first week. If you’re fighting to have Le’Veon Bell, especially vs. Cleveland, Le’veon Bell is a guy that made me fall in love with him cause I had him three years ago in his second season, when not everybody knew him, and that was his breakout season. I’m always going to have a loyalty toward Le’Veon Bell when it comes to fantasy because he’s the guy that brought me into it and he’s just been so consistent. Week one he’s gonna be fresh and ready to go.

See, but now it kinda sounds like you’re going back on your word. You can’t be sentimental.

Haha! I caught myself, too. I know it’s hard. It’s hard not to have feelings, but when you get to the grind, there are no feelings in this fantasy football, man. You can’t have it. I know I said that – you called me out there. Listen, that’s why I win because I’m preparing for the event on the 20th. We’re getting out the kinks because I’m still in training camp. I’m still in mock draft-mode right now. I’m still mock drafting and we’re it culminates August 20th. If you wanna dance with the dingo and save 15 bucks, use the “dancewiththedingo” promo code for the Fantasy Sports Festival, sponsored by DraftKings. This is me working out my kinks with Pat McAfee, Matthew Berry, Trey Wingo, comedian/actor Jim Breuer… We’re live podcasting, we’re live mock drafting, it’s gonna be a dope day.

You say you mock draft constantly in the offseason, but do you ever auction draft?

You know what? I haven’t got into it. I’ve taken on so much with fantasy and I know it’s fun and I know it’s appealing. Maybe I’ll get into it this season. It’s just you can only take on so much, even being a senior fantasy football player like myself. In all sincerity, I get so emotionally involved with my team and my league and my competition that I don’t want to take on too much. So, as appealing as it is, I’ve got offered to be in some of those auction leagues and I would love to do it and maybe this will be the first year I start.

I’ve been playing fantasy football for 13 years and I prefer the auction format because I can take the players that I absolutely want. I hate the idea of being in a snake draft and being forced to take somebody simply due to a random assigning of numbers.

I get that. That’s part of the pain. It’s a torture and pain process. And I understand that. Trust me, I’m contemplating it.

It seems like you’re very in touch with the internal struggle and strife and drama of fantasy. And from what I’ve heard you’re considered the bad guy of my league. I’m also considered a bit of a bad guy in my league…

I’m gonna stop you. So I have to stop you. Do not consider yourself the bad guy. That’s you letting them get the best of you. If you’re antagonizing these people and you’re beating them, you’re destroying them and you’re talking about it, then you’re the good guy. You’re the hero. Don’t let them change what you’re doing. That means it’s working. That means you’re accomplishing the goal. Do not consider yourself the bad guy. You’re the champion of that league. Ruin them. Destroy them. Break their balls. Okay? I dare you to do it. Win with no dignity and no class. Lose with no dignity and no class. You understand?

BUSTED! @MichaelRapaport finds out that @Siriusjay of the @sternshow got #FantasyFootball Advice last season! AUDIO: https://t.co/eaZlHBcdzw

— Fantasy Sports Radio (@SiriusXMFantasy) August 8, 2017