We’ve all been forced to endure Donald Trump long enough now to know that whenever the former president makes a big show of teasing something he plans to say, it’s best to just climb back into bed and hide under the blankets. So when the former president — who has been awfully quiet since officially launching his 2024 presidential campaign — made a major announcement on Wednesday that he’d be making a “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT” on Thursday, well, we couldn’t help but brace ourselves for something outrageous. But as Seth Meyers told viewers on Thursday night, “When Trump posted his ‘major announcement’ today, it turned out to be SO much more pathetic than anyone could have possibly imagined.”
First, there was the image of Trump as a bizarro Superman — an image that brings to mind the whole superhero-like exit he planned to make upon being released from Walter Reed National Military Center in 2020, after being treated for coronavirus. Then there was the part where Trump introduced himself as “Hopefully your favorite president of all time. Better than Lincoln, better than Washington.” But the real kicker was the announcement itself: That Trump’s latest grift will see him getting in on the NFT game — which he clearly does not understand in the slightest.
“I bet Lincoln’s super f***ing jealous he didn’t think of that!,” was Meyers’ initial reply. “Gotta love the timing of a former president launching his NFT line the same week a crypto scammer gets arrested. ‘They got SBF — looks like there’s an opening available then!’”
Meyers shared that he is “also certain that Trump didn’t look at the copy of his script until the cameras were rolling.” As evidence of this theory, he pointed out a part in the announcement/commercial in which Trump explained that “Each card comes with a chance to win amazing prizes, like dinner with me. I don’t know if that’s an amazing prize, but it’s what we have.”
Meyers, using his now-iconic Trump voice, gave some additional context to what the former president might have been thinking with his clear bit of ad libbing: “It’s what we have, you know. Is it the best prize? It’s not. But, you know, it’s Christmas. And on Christmas, isn’t what we have enough? Because one day you’re president and the next day you’re selling a product you don’t fully comprehend. But who needs an iPad when you can have a whatever the f**k this is?”
Meyers also issued a warning to anyone thinking of buying a Trump Digital Card for their spouse this holiday season: “You’re getting a divorce!”
You can watch the full clip above.
