UPROXX 20: Stephanie Beatriz Of ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ Had A Really Good Time At A Haim Concert

Stephanie Beatriz is an actress probably best known for her portrayal of Detective Rosa Diaz on the Fox comedy, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which airs Sunday nights at 8:30pm EST. Additionally, you may have seen the Argentina native on Modern Family playing Sonia.

Stephanie was nice enough to take a few minutes out of her busy schedule recently to answer a few questions from us.

1. You walk into a bar. What do your order from the bartender?

I get fancy and ask if they have organic vodka, and get it over ice with soda water and lime.

2. Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter?

Chelsea Peretti, hands down. She is hilarious and her tweets often utilize all caps for comedic effect WHICH I ADORE.

3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR/TiVO?

I have neither, but on my Hulu Plus account I’m into season two of Desperate Housewives and I’m not ashamed in the least to say that I love it.

4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?

I’m allergic to flour and all forms of gluten, so if I’m gonna die anyway I’m going with a big deep dish pizza and a delicious tres leches cake. If I eat those, I’ll feel like dying shortly after anyway, so win-win!

5. What websites do you visit on a regular basis?

The Reformation, to stare at clothes I love, Mystic Mamma, to get in touch with my woo woo hippie astrological side, XO Jane for hilarious and thought provoking articles, and Brain Pickings because it’s like rummaging through a very, very interesting attic full of cool books.

6. What’s the most frequently played song on your iPod?

It’s an album called “Through a Dog’s Ear: Music for your Senior Dog.” It’s one song that lasts about an hour and yes I bought it for my dog but it’s very relaxing STOP JUDGING ME.

7. The first face that comes to mind when you think “punchable”?

Guys, punching isn’t really the answer. #nonviolence

8. What’s your favorite meme?

The one with the polar bear saying “Hey Craig!” This actually happened to Terry Crews the other day on set and I immediately pulled this up on my phone to show to him and he died laughing.

9. Dogs or cats?

Cats are beautiful and lovely, but they can be a little bitchy. I too can be a little bitchy so I like the offset of a dog’s energy. I adopted my dog from a shelter 6 months ago and he’s the greatest most loving little old buddy in the world!

10. Best concert of your life was…?

Haim in New York City. It was EPIC and inspiring. Those three women are unafraid and just rabidly f*cking cool. Their presence on stage radiated badassery and fun and rock and roll and I wanted to dance and yell and “whip my hair back and forth” as the kids say.

11. What book are you most likely to give as a gift?

Wild by Cheryl Strayed. I got it as a gift myself from my best friend this past Christmas, and as I read it I felt completely transported into Cheryl’s story. She loses her mother, starts using heroin, and then decided she’s going to hike the ENTIRE Pacific Crest Trail, all the to Washington state — ALONE. I want everyone I know to read it.

12. What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

My sister forgave me for treating her like shit all through high school. It was the kindest and most generous thing anyone has ever done for me, and I totally didn’t deserve it. She’s the greatest.

13. South Park or Family Guy?

My high school boyfriend and I used to make out in his house and watch episodes of South Park between clumsy gropings, so I have an attachment to it obvs. But Brooklyn Nine-Nine just moved to Sunday nights, right before Family Guy, so Family Guy wins this round.

14. You have an entire day to do whatever you want. What would you do?

Whatever I want?! Do I also have an unlimited budget?! Then I’m taking a private jet to Disney World with 5 friends and we get to cut to the front of every line.

15. What movie can you not resist watching if it’s on?

Mean Girls. Can. Not. Change. Channel.

16. What’s your favorite sports team or teams?

I’m not a big sports person! I do love watching rhythmic gymnastics during the Olympics.

17. Where did you eat the best meal of your life?

Last year, my parents and sister came to town and spent the holidays with me. My sister got my dad a book about how to make paella and we decided to try it. Growing up, my family fought A LOT and meals together were kind of impossible; we were too busy or too angry to eat together. This meal was so different. We all worked together in my little kitchen, and my boyfriend helped. My dad shopped, my mom prepped, my sister and I navigated the recipe and called out directions, and my man acted as a buffer when my family started to slip into our old patterns of unkindness. It was rad. We laughed a lot and the paella was the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted.

18. The last movie you saw in a theater?

Calvary, with Brendan Gleeson. Amazing. simple, serene, gorgeous photography mixed with a deeply moving story and performances that I was STUNNED by. If I am ever able to move people the way Mr. Gleeson does with his acting, I will count my artistic career as a success. Go see it.

19. Who was your first celebrity crush?

David Bowie. I was pretty obsessed with his turn as “Jareth The Goblin King” in Jim Henson’s The Labyrinth. I mean, the skintight pants alone were enough to stir my longing, but then you add the voice and the BOWIENESS and forget it. That scene where Sarah eats the enchanted peach Jareth gives her and dreams she’s at a masquerade ball and Jareth’s singing to/seducing her and she’s in that out of control 80’s style ball gown and her hair is perfect and so is his? Still turns me on.

20. What would you cook if Nic Cage was coming to your house for dinner?

Does he eat real food? I feel like he’s the kind of guy who lives off of protein shakes and beef jerky.

 

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