TNT recently decided to cancel Dallas. As the last time we covered the show involved GIFs of Judith Light doing huge lines of cocaine in a Mexican bullfighting ring, I’ll have to assume that it’s another guilty pleasure of ridiculous plot lines gone too soon. In memoriam, we’ve decided to go through some of the other crazy coke-fueled television scenes from this year. So come on and binge on a buncha GIFs. BASE!
Two important notes before we go on:
1. UPROXX does not necessarily condone using cocaine. We are however, just fine marveling at people fake using it on TV.
2. While I wouldn’t consider most these “spoilers” as much as “crazy moments in an episode”, the bit from the Review kinda ruins the twist from the pilot. I’ll be sticking that one at the end.
“You need a bigger vein?”
The Knick’s protagonist, Dr. John Thackery, is a talented, smart-alecky doctor with a debilitating drug addiction. Towards the end of the first episode a nurse has to assist him with an injection, but needs a bigger target than the usual area between toes. And so:
I’m going to continue keeping needles away from that area, thank you.
[gobbling cocaine]
One of the running plots from this past season of Archer involved Pam getting addicted to cocaine. While the gobbling GIF above still makes me giggle, the most outlandish example has to be the initial naked cast chomping.
Somehow coke hasn’t affected Dr. Krieger’s work.
“How much blow have you done?”
We’ve gone on about how You’re The Worst is a hilarious show where with dysfunctional characters trying their hand at love. In an attempt of offset the rare dramatic moment of a character making a serious life choice, Lindsay here decided that she could do bad by herself and attempted to sniff coke from her own bosom.
She gets an “A” for effort, and something something cup size.
“You gone high on that cocaine. You gone crazy like a cocaine train.”
The pilot episode of Review had Forrest MacNeil taking on addiction. With no luck getting the alcohol and nicotine monkeys on his back, Forrest turned to coke. He seemed to like it.
While there’s no video of actual cocaine ingestion, Forrest did pressure a high schooler into sniffing at the prom.
Oddly enough, this is the only time using coke ends poorly.
So remember, kids: winners don’t use drugs. Except for the ones on TV.
