Kate Upton Is The Best Person Ever At Eating Cheeseburgers

And now for the best thing you’ll read all day: an exclusive interview conducted by Fox News (of all people) about how Kate Upton is the new spokesperson for Hardees and Carls Jr. restaurants, featuring this thing about how she has to take off her clothes if her food is hot.

Uh,

Despite the chilly 50 degree temperature, Upton got things hot and bothered on the set. “It’s the Southwest Patty Melt, and it’s one of their classics, but now they’re adding a little spice–adding some jalapeños and making it a little bit hotter,” explained Upton. “I’m a ‘50s girl with a little cardigan on, a really sweet kind of a girl. But then I take a bite and all of a sudden, I’m sweating, and I’m taking off all of my clothes and I’m in my lingerie!”

And now, the phrase “erotic burger arts”.

Upton said her family firmly supports her venture in the erotic burger arts – up to a point. “Of course, I told them and they’re very excited about the commercial,” she said. “They realize that I can turn on the sexy, and they were probably like, ‘Tone it down!’”

With a knockout figure to maintain, the Southwest Patty Melt remains only an occasional indulgence for Upton. “I love burgers, but I definitely can’t have them every day,” she said. “It’s a special treat, for sure. Maybe once a week.”

This isn’t going to do a lot to help that “ugh look at how fat Kate Upton is” self-esteem-destroying meme we’ve got going in our comments sections, is it?

Watching Kate shove the highest quality of the low quality hamburgers in her mouth isn’t doing anything for me specifically — it sorta feels the way it feels whenever she shows up somewhere in a Yankees hat — but if they keep putting her in commercials I’ll drive to my local Carl’s Jr. and drop off a $20 in their drive-thru every week as tithes.

Another pic of Kate holding food she doesn’t eat in real life is after the jump. Video will follow as soon as humanly possible.

 

(Yes, clicking the images make them bigger. You’re welcome.)

[h/t to the always tippable Upstate Underdog]