The first presidential debate of the 2016 election season took place on Thursday night, and we’ve barely survived the endless braying about Clinton, Obama, Reagan and Planned Parenthood. If you were fortunate enough not to watch, here are all the highlights, brought mostly to us by — who else — Donald Trump.
Trump raises his hand.
When every candidate was asked to raise their hand if they won’t pledge to support the eventual Republican presidential nominee, Trump was the only one to do so, inciting a loud chorus of boos. Makes you wonder what he was like in grade school.
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Trump v. Megyn Kelly and Rosie O’Donnell.
The first 20 minutes or so of this debate was a true snooze fest, until Megyn Kelly, who has taken down both Mike Huckabee and Rand Paul for their sexist comments, brought up pretty much every misogynistic comment Donald Trump has made in public and then asked the following: “How would you answer the charge from Hillary Clinton that you are part of the war on women?”
Trump’s answer(s): He’s only called Rosie O’Donnell a pig (reminder here), he doesn’t have time to be politically correct, and Megyn Kelly herself hasn’t been very nice to him (mercifully, he doesn’t tell Kelly that it would be a pretty picture if she got on her knees like he allegedly did to a Celebrity Apprentice contestant.)
Rosie O’Donnell later tweeted a succinct response:
try explaining that 2 ur kids
— ROSIE (@Rosie) August 7, 2015
Trump Face and Trump Hands, the memes of the night.
Of the many gifts that Trump has given us (and that will be our undoing), his facial expressions and wild hand gestures are among the top ones on display tonight…
The other participants play well off Trump. Look at these other candidates getting in on the hand action…
¯_(ツ)_/¯
And of course, the Internet had some fun with Trump’s physicality…
https://twitter.com/RJJ954/status/629467023513272326
“In Florida they call me Jeb, because I earned it.”
Because Trump shouldn’t get all the glory, we love it when a Bush tries to be folksy and says things that don’t really make any sense…
And of course he had to make sure to give his anti-abortion credentials a plug…
Chris Christie v. Rand Paul on hugging.
Rand Paul also came out of the gate swinging, saying that, as president, he’s into “collecting more records from terrorists” while protecting American citizens’ civil liberties. Chris Christie then interrupted to call this notion ridiculous. So, Paul then tries to say that Christie would improperly look into people’s records like President Obama supposedly has.
“I don’t trust President Obama with our records. I know that you gave him a big hug, and if you want him to give him a big hug again, go right ahead,” Paul says to rapturous applause.
“The hugs that I remember are the hugs I gave to the families who lost their people on 9/11… and those had nothing to do with politics, unlike what you’re doing by cutting speeches on the floor of the Senate and then putting them on the Internet within half an hour to raise money for your campaign while still putting our country at risk,” Christie shoots back to boos.
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Trump v. Paul.
Paul tried to go after Trump and got smacked the hell down…
https://twitter.com/gifdsports/status/629469642646491136
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Everybody’s gotten money from Donald Trump… except Mike Huckabee.
A benefit of Mike Huckabee being a fringe candidate in national politics: The fact that he hasn’t gotten a donation from the self-proclaimed $10 billion man allowed him to remind everybody that he was still on stage…
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Huckabee got a sort of clever dig against Hillary Clinton (who may have won this debate without even being in the room) in while taking down the other candidates…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wIctsrb4fQ&feature=youtu.be
Huckabee also stole a ridiculous Rush Limbaugh line about what the military is supposed to do: “Kill people and break things.”
Trump’s finances.
His frequent bankruptcies make him qualified to make our economy better than China’s, you see…
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Oh, and the Republicans had a black guy there.
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And finally. for something different, Ohio Governor John Kasich says something touching about gay rights.
The end.