DimeMag

5 NBA Players In Need Of A Biopic

One thing this lockout made perfectly clear is that He Got Game is by far the most popular basketball movie of this generation. By far. It’s been a minute since I actually sat down and watched the flick, but during our Dime Ultimate Movie Baller tournament, no player generates as much interest or popularity as Jesus (say what you want about Billy Hoyle‘s miraculous Cinderella run). For every vote Neon got or Moses got or Scott McKnight got, Jesus got 5-10. Fans just cared more about seeing Lincoln’s finest in the final.

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He Got Game isn’t the only great movie collecting dust in my room. My five favorite movies that I haven’t watched since the turn of the new year:

5. Apocalypto
4. Tropic Thunder
3. Goodfellas
2. Man On Fire
1. The Godfather
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Kevin Durant may never be Jesus Shuttlesworth, but perhaps he can at least be Hustler (Fast Break fans know what I’m talking about). Earlier this summer, news leaked that Mr. Summer MVP would be taking his on-camera talents to Hollywood and would star in a feature full-length film. Now, the plot and synopsis have leaked:

TITLE: “Switch”
CASTING: preferably people willing to take a backseat to Mr. Durant, play off his strengths and back down whenever he lets them know this is his feature film
PLOT: “In a magical twist, Kevin Durant switches all of his basketball-playing skills with an enthusiastic young fan who becomes the star of his high school
team…and leaving Durant and the Thunder helpless. With the playoffs approaching, they need to discover what it is that brought them together before the early end to the Thunder’s season.”
WHERE: Baton Rouge
WHEN: starts Sept. 19, 2011

Fair enough. Naturally, the plot for this movie could only have about three different choices and they went with the easiest. So Durant gets to play a mix of Calvin Cambridge from Like Mike and the actual Mike from Space Jam. That should be good times.

Will it flame out as a colossal box office failure? Probably, even though at this point, Durant can do no wrong and is in that phase of his career where everything he does is praised (it’s a three-step process every star must go through… Kobe is done with it and LeBron is currently directly in the eye of the storm).

What the production company could’ve done is just build an biopic film around Durant’s career. Of course it worked with He Got Game (Stephon Marbury to a degree). It would work in this instance. Add a little drama as a youngster – perhaps growing up in a tough environment, losing a loved one or having a catastrophic injury – and have it lead into a trip to the NBA Finals (which is where OKC will be very shortly). You could end like that or if you wanted to go Spike Lee on us, have the final scene flip back and forth between KD shooting jumpers in the middle of the desert and Russell Westbrook doing the same halfway across the globe. Then, show random balls falling out of the sky. Then it’s over (awesome ending!).

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