Behind The Bench: The Utah Jazz Are No Fun At All

03.22.16 2 years ago 2 Comments
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Comedian and comedy theater founder Chris Trew is a New Orleans Pelicans superfan who has a single season ticket directly behind the visitors’ bench inside New Orleans’ Smoothie King Center, where he interacts with the opposing team’s players and coaches. He will be documenting his experiences here for us in a regular column called, Behind the Bench. You can follow his in-game interactions live on Twitter at @Trew2theGame. The Pelicans’ opponent in this column: the Utah Jazz.

— The Utah Jazz are optimistically battling for a playoff spot and are mostly all business. This is probably Gordon Hayward’s team (his teammates call him “G,” a nickname that makes sense, but also doesn’t make any sense) even though he mostly keeps to himself on the bench. Derrick Favors sweats a lot and puts the most effort into being a vocal team leader. The rest of the squad is just kind of there, nobody really taking the role as the guy, a problem I imagine will plague the team until someone steps up.

— The award for “Coaching Staff Most Resembling a Frozen Statue” goes to the Utah Jazz in a landslide vote. The coaching staff rankings for 2016 look something like this: 1. Denver Nuggets, 2. Los Angeles Clippers, second-to-last Portland Trail Blazers, last by a long shot Utah Jazz. It’s not that these guys were just really tuned in to the game. I believe head coach Quin Snyder has trained his staff to ignore everything besides himself and his players through some intense scare tactics. Not the TV show Scare Tactics, I mean actual scare tactics. Though I would cancel all plans this weekend to binge watch Utah Jazz coach Quin Snyder forcing his assistants to binge watch the TV show Scare Tactics.

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