One thing that sports websites like to do now is simulate games that haven’t happened yet. This is so they can tell you what might happen, because numbers, or something. To accomplish this, they use the latest video game and computer technology, kind of like when I was in high school and tried to use Windows 3.1 and AOL Instant Messenger to get dates, except ESPN will occasionally get lucky, while I did not.
When I contacted the DIME overlords to ask if I could do some NBA Playoff simulations, I was delighted when they said yes. I was beyond delighted when they assured me that I would be provided with the latest video game titles with which to run my simulations!
SIMULATION No. 1:
(1) Cleveland Cavaliers vs (8) Detroit Pistons
DIME’s Managing Editor gives me a top secret-looking package. Actually it’s just a paper grocery bag that’s taped shut, but it feels top secret, you know? I open it, but to be honest I’m confused: I’ve never seen this video game before. It must be a screener.