Defensive stalwart and destroyer of testicles Draymond Green was suspended for Game 5 of the NBA Finals. The infraction that led to his banishment was a forceful hand to the undercarriage of LeBron James, but the one-game punishment was based on his continuous assault’s on man’s most sensitive area during the playoffs.
From Zach Lowe’s podcast and NBC Sports, ESPN’s Lowe said:
The Cavs wanted him suspended for two games. I can tell you that. They wanted it to be a flagrant 2 and to have him suspended for Game 5 and Game 6.
As upsetting as it is to see one man constantly peppering NBA groins with devastating blows, a flagrant 1 was the right call. After all, if a flying kick to the Australian jewels of Steven Adams doesn’t rise to a flagrant 2 then there’s no way a slap to the kingly area of James can be worse than that.
But you can’t blame the Cavs for lobbying for a two-game suspension. Dream big. Ask the NBA to suspend Steph Curry for not having his mouthpiece secured inside his mouth at all times. Really reach for the stars.
The Warriors face the Cavaliers in Game 6 in Cleveland tonight and Green expects the crowd to be … let’s say, nuts. From The Undefeated:
“I’m sure I will hear it from the Cavs crowd. I know I will. I heard it from their crowd last year. It’s about going out and playing the game and doing what I can to help this team win. I don’t play this game to be loved by the opposing team’s crowd. I’m loved at the Oracle. I don’t expect to be loved at The Q [Quicken Loans Arena]. It doesn’t matter to me one way or the other. What will matter is coming out, us winning that game and quieting that crowd. That will mean the world to me.”
Speaking of nuts, if Planters or a pistachio company isn’t on the phone with Green’s agent about an endorsement deal this offseason, what are they doing? Green is outgoing, very good at basketball and his brand will be forever linked to nuts. This is a slam-dunk (get it?) idea.
My finder’s fee is 10 percent.
(Via The Lowe Post, The Undefeated)
