DimeMag

Charlie Sheen’s Winners & Losers From Game 6

The Mavs may be the big winners and the Heat the big losers, but it’s the little things that count. For the last time of the 2011-12 season, here are your Game 6 winners and losers.

Winners

Erik Spoelstra: For starting Mario Chalmers. It was about time that Mike Bibby and Peja Stojakovic shared the role of bench high-fiver and over exuberant celebrator.

LeBron James: So he may have been the biggest individual, but he did surpass his Game 4 points total at the 7:46 mark. Of the first quarter.

Rick Carlisle: You would think that Miami would have developed a plan for Carlisle’s vaunted zone defense, but no.

Eddie House: For being the only reason Miami even stayed in the game. That sentence should never have to be uttered.

Ian Mahinmi: For nailing a 10-foot fadeaway over Chris Bosh. Who knew he was a closer as well.

DeShawn Stevenson: After stroking back-to-back threes, he strutted back to Miami’s bench. Although I couldn’t tell if that was a momentary brain lapse or an intentional “feel the full pain of my 12 minutes and 38 seconds played” swag move.

Dwyane Wade: For stuffing Tyson Chandler. Again. You would think that the size advantage would play in Chandler’s favor.

The Fight: Finally some emotion in this series. And to no one’s surprise, Stevenson was the instigator.

James Jones: For being the lone Miami player to stay on the bench during the Chalmers/Stevenson/Haslem pillow fight. Because if Jones gets suspended for leaving the bench area, Miami is screwed.

The Timeout Leading to the Fight: Rick Carlisle called timeout to halt Miami’s second quarter momentum before Stevenson shoved Haslem. As Jeff Van Gundy put it, the fight was “the ultimate momentum breaker.”

Brian Cardinal: For showing some toughness and committing some hard fouls. It’s not like it was the playoffs or anything. And I think it’s about time we upgrade him from “The Custodian” to “The Head Janitor.”

Jason Terry’s Bicep Tattoo: More specifically, it wins the award for “most unlikely tattoo to gain validation.”

J.J. Barea: For wearing the Puerto Rican flag as a cape during the celebration. The best part is that this was clearly premeditated.

Chris Bosh’s Emotions: So maybe his tears further revealed his emotional instability, but I’ll take that over the LeBron stone face.

Losers

Peja Stojakovic: For being the only Dallas player without his hand on his heart during the National Anthem. Your not being American is not an excuse.

Mike Bibby: For losing playing time to Eddie House. Although he could be a winner for “most likely player to get cut in the offseason.”

J.J. Barea: For the biggest flop in NBA history when Chalmers gave him a slight shove on a fast break in the second quarter. Somehow he managed to go from the free throw line to the sideline stands.

ABC Camera Crew: For cutting to commercial during the fight. Even though they ended up showing the replay a million times, the mighty hand of David Stern came down upon the ABC camera crew for a few seconds.

ABC Halftime Outro Music: That’s right, it was “Like a G6.” It went together with basketball like lamb and tuna fish.

Dwyane Wade: When D-Wade mistimed a jump for a defensive board in the third quarter, Shawn Marion pounced, cleaning up the glass and finishing. Instead of Miami going down to the other end and cutting the lead to three, it ballooned to seven. Spoelstra was forced to call timeout, and the momentum completely shifted. Small mistake, big consequences.

The Celebration: For being the most subdued celebration of all time. It’s not like they defeated the Big Three and all evil in the world.

David Stern: For handing the NBA Finals MVP Trophy to Dirk No-WITZ-ki instead of Dirk No-VITZ-ki. Public speaking was never his forte.

Mark Jackson: The final outro of the NBA on ABC did not focus on the Mavs winning the NBA title, but Jackson’s departure from ESPN. Priorities, people.

Who do you think were the biggest winners and losers from Game 6?

Follow Dylan on Twitter at @DylanBotB.

Follow Dime on Twitter at @DimeMag.

Become a fan of Dime Magazine on Facebook HERE.

×