A Sushi Chef Is Now Making A DeMarcus Cousins Doppelgänger Roll

For those of you asking the world’s most obvious question, “Why doesn’t my sushi look like an NBA All-Star?” today is your day. A sushi chef in Milan, Italy is finally making rolls that resemble Sacramento Kings and Team USA center DeMarcus Cousins.

Take a look for yourself above.

Adorable. The same chef has also made rolls that resemble Italian baller Danilo Galinari, as well as Tim Duncan and LeBron James. Yum!

The real-life version of Cousins, who is 270 pounds of flesh, organs, and bones instead of a small amount of cutely adorned rice, looks ahead to Rio, where he will fight for the gold with Team USA basketball after a particularly dumb year with Sacramento. Things appear to be getting only worse with his Kings, who mysteriously acquired two centers in June’s draft. The consummately amusing Cousins had a great social media response to that strange bit of team-building, too.

Trade rumors have and always will swirl around Cousins as long as he plays for this mystifying front office, who is now giving him his sixth coach in as many seasons in the person of Dave Joerger, fresh off a stint with the Memphis Grizzlies. Let’s hope Team USA gives Cousins a less blemished platform with which to showcase his sushi-worthy game.