Kentucky Player Dorm is Nicer than Wherever You Live

As if the pageantry, history, fan fervor, national TV exposure, insane winning percentage, and the John Calipari hard sell isn’t enough to get you to commit to Kentucky, here comes another recruiting bullet in the Wildcat recruiting arsenal: a brand new, palatial dorm built just for the basketball team [Click for photos at the end of the post].

In a video posted on Calipari’s personal site, the coach gives viewers a tour of the brand new dorm, aka “The Wildcat Coal Lodge.” It’s a pretty good answer TO THIS. The dorm is ridiculous.

ESPN’s Eammon Brennan breaks down the 8-minute video:

Calipari starts the tour of the new Wildcat Coal Lodge by following freshman Alex Poythress into the building as he begins to tell viewers — and rivals, of course — why this new facility is better than your favorite’s team’s living quarters.

Toward the start of the video, he points to a plaque near the entrance that shows a picture of some Kentucky miners he once visited. He says they taught him about team because they told him that they go into the mine together and come up together. He probably spent the most time with the tallest miners and inquired about their children’s basketball exploits.

I’ll let you view the montage (accompanied by Jay-Z/Kanye West instrumentals) and judge for yourself, but here are some of the highlights:

Calipari says the building has great security because a woman named Betsy — the team’s “aunt” — monitors the cameras throughout the building, and potential threats “can’t get by her” at the front desk. I’m assuming she also knows jiu-jitsu.

Calipari goes to the trophy case that features the program’s eight national titles. And then he adds, “Over here in this entry, we have national championship trophies. … You may look down there but they got a space for another one. I don’t know why they do … I guess they try to hint about it here at the University of Kentucky.” He mentions the school’s emphasis on national titles quite often because “what they talk about is national championships” at Kentucky.

We also learn that young people don’t like couches these days. “They want to sit on recliners.” They also want to drive Porsches. Do they get those, too? Calipari also says the players are on their “Gameboys.” I doubt it. Unless this video was actually shot in 1993.

Cal fist-bumps the dorm’s resident chef, Chris Cain, in the team lounge about eight times. According to Calipari, Cain can cook anything. The exchange goes like this. Calipari: “Can I get a grilled cheese?” Cain: “Yes, sir.” Fist-bump. The cycle repeats about five more times as Calipari names his favorite foods. Meanwhile, Cain is probably thinking, “You can get whatever you want as long as you pay me. That’s what I do. I’m a chef.”
The bathrooms in the players’ dorm are built for big guys. “The sink is kind of high. But everything in here is for 7-footers,” Calipari says. John Wall would have needed a phonebook to use those sinks.

Check out photos on the next page:

There’s a trophy case in the front lobby with an empty space for another national championship trophy:

The players’ lounge:

Pool table in the players’ lounge:

Private dining area with dedicated chef:

Dorm rooms built with amenities for 7-footers:

Check out the full video and “bonus footage” HERE.

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