Kristaps Porzingis Goes One-On-One Against An Absurdly Goofy Darren Rovell

Associate Editor
03.02.16

Kristaps Porzingis is a professional basketball player who is incredibly tall, athletic, and good at putting a ball through a hoop. Due to his being in the NBA, he is in an elite fraternity made up of the best basketball players on the entire planet. The only people who stand a chance against him in a game of one-on-one are, in all likelihood, other basketball players (and this kid).

ESPN’s Darren Rovell is not a professional basketball player. He is short, unathletic, and markedly not good at putting a ball through a hoop. His job is not to play basketball – instead, he reports on various financial aspects of the game. At best, Rovell is the kind of guy who can perform admirably in a rec league, but at worst, he’s just another dude who sucks at basketball. Based on this game of one-on-one, it’s probably fair to assume that Rovell’s game is closer to the latter than the former.

On Wednesday, Porzingis and Rovell met on a basketball court. Based on a short clip that the New York Knicks tweeted out, it went just about exactly the way that you would expect. Porzingis uses the fact that he is bigger, stronger, and overall better at basketball than Rovell to hit a few shots right into Rovell’s grill. While it seemed like Rovell tried to save face by acting like a goofball, he really didn’t stand any chance against Three 6 Latvia.

Better luck next time, Darren. Let’s just hope that “next time” is against a child at a family reunion and not against a professional basketball player.

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