The NBA’s 5 Most Offensive Jerseys

08.10.11 7 years ago 32 Comments

So after I tried to deduce some of the most daring and bold NBA jerseys yesterday, I also came across some threads that I would rather never see again. Such included graphics of strange looking animals, similarities to beer cans and a couple of shiny, Disney-esque themed jerseys that were over the top. Again, such opinions are extremely subjective and these are ranked in no particular order.

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Milwaukee Bucks road alternate (1995-99)

This was a weird one. While the shorts of the forest green have the Bucks logo of a stag staring at you like you’re about to plow into him along a dark and winding highway, the jersey itself is more perplexing. It’s like some twisted version of the actual logo, except the Buck looks more intimidating. Actually, instead of the blank deer-in-the-headlights stare, this one kind of looks like you touched his doe in the club the wrong way. Also, the graphics fade away in a way that makes it look like it’s more like a Buck ghost – maybe the same one you just pummeled with your F-150.

Utah Jazz home/road (1996-2004)

People might kill me for disliking this one, but really, what’s with the ice-tipped mountains? I realize that Salt Lake City is very beautiful so I guess it makes sense, but there’s no need to resemble a Coors Light beer can. Though I shouldn’t complain, because John Stockton and Karl Malone definitely rocked it well. Maybe the duo was indeed frost brewed like the beer from the Rocky Mountains, dropping opponents with their ice-cold pick and rolls. Either way, people either love or absolute hate these jerseys.

Philadelphia 76ers home/road (1991-94)

Mickey Mouse would be proud, but these jerseys don’t belong in the NBA. Unless I missed something, the league, especially during this era, wasn’t all about sparkles and magical stars. And by stars I mean both artistically or symbolically (Jordan was the only true star). I mean, can you imagine Charles Barkley wearing these? Yeah, it happened. I suppose it didn’t stop the Chuckster from domination, though. Regardless, these should end up in some Hall of Fame (or Hall of Shame).

Dallas Mavericks silver road alternate (2004)

I love Antoine Walker as much as the next guy. But these shiny silver things correlated to the demise of ‘Toine’s career following his run with the Celtics. At least, I blame them for making one of the most entertaining guys in the NBA end up broke and in the D-League. And I realize that being Mavericks may come with the connotation that such a team will be different, individual and perhaps somewhat reckless, but the creators of this jersey went too far. Eliminated after one season, these earned the nickname “Trash Bags.”

Miami Heat road alternate (2005)

That is no dual-colored, nylon beach towel draped over Dwyane Wade‘s shoulder. That’s some goofy, black road number accented with an orange and a magenta stripe. In 2005, the Heat released this, a fourth jersey borrowed from the 1971-72 Floridians who were a short-lived ABA team that played at Miami Beach Convention Center. The Heat wore this for six home games and one road game as part of NBA Hardwood Classics Nights, but I hope it never, ever happens again.

Which jerseys would you rather never see again?

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