DimeMag

The Warriors Had The Most Ridiculous Groundbreaking Ceremony In Earth’s History

For some reason, the Golden State Warriors are moving into a new arena in San Francisco in 2019. The team held a groundbreaking ceremony Tuesday, which should never be anything more than rich people in suits dipping a shovel into some dirt and then answering questions from reporters.

The Warriors went all out, and it was as unnecessary as the new arena itself.

It started with some sort of acrobat theater.

And here it is from another angle but shot just as vertically.

What in the world is happening here? And what’s up with the music? It sounds like something from the heist scene in The Thomas Crown Affair but also like the scene in Coming To America when Prince Akeem’s bride is revealed at the palace. Except while those scenes were neatly choreographed in different ways, this was mimes throwing a cone around.

It continued.

Oh look, they’re dressed as construction workers…that dance! They implored the audience to clap along…and some of them did! Some people have too much money. This is an example.

It continued.

They are outside now. Is this Cirque du Soleil? Is any of this legal? There’s no way a clown swinging from a piece of construction equipment doesn’t violate some sort of code. They are bouncing off trampolines. There is twirling. This is a news event. Did taxpayer money go into hiring these guys?

Sadly, LeBron James does not bounce off a third trampoline and reject all these dudes into oblivion.

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