FlipBoardBrett Ratner and his bad tranny radar are officially attached to direct an adaptation of the video game series God of War, not to be confused with War of Gods, from Tarsem Singh and the producers of 300, or God that’s retarded, what I exclaimed upon hearing news of both projects.
Ratner had long been rumored to be attached to the project, and today’s MGM press release about Robocop also included the following:
“David Self’s credits include 13 Days and Road To Perdition. He wrote God of War for Universal, to which Brett Ratner is attached to direct, and was a writer on Universal’s Wolfman currently in production.”
Brett Ratner is a genius, and video game movies are always awesome, so I’m sure this will be great. I mean, did you see Super Mario Brothers? That shit was amazing.
[via /Film]
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The irony being there is no god.
This vacuum sucks, that straw sucks, there’s too much sucking today.
You sure it didn’t say Brett Ratner is set to be named the God of Warmed-Over Bullshit?
He’s probably going to get the first tranny that blew him to play Kratos.
Re the banner pic: Miley and Ratner are both so damn stupid that I’m willing to bet they aren’t actually looking at anything. They’re both just staring off into space and thinking about choco-diles and how much boys like them when they give blow-jobs.
Ratner only signed on to Direct God of War when he started reading into Greek mythology and discovered there was a god named Hermes. he thought he had already met the perfect person to play that role. He was terribly disappointed when he learned that Hermes is not short for Hermaphrodite.
Ratner is to the film industry what Uproxx is to the film industry.
Everything Ratner knows about Greek history, he learned from fucking trannies.
Ratner thinks that Greek Orthodox refers to the two guys in lab coats that taught him how to properly suck a dick.
Ratner only wanted this project because he’s been watching a lot of centaur porn.
Ratner thinks ‘Mount Olympus’ is a direction to start fucking a camera.
Ratner took this project for one reason: Greek orgy
Ratner was relieved to find out he was making the video game movie, not the other one. He had NO idea how to cast Kinicky.
He had NO idea how to cast Kinicky.Like it should be so easy… tell me, smart guy, have you ever tried to find a tranny with a ducktail haircut?
In my experience, Peet, you don’t find a tranny with a ducktail haircut, he/she finds you.
I know plenty about this Greek mythology shit. For example, Aphrodite is what black people use to diaper their babies.
Easy, Peet. One word – Barista.
The Titans will be loose ones by the time ol’ Bretti boy gets done with them.
I also happen to know that Zeus is where you go to look at the animals.
Remember to eat everything on your Plato.
Thor is how Lince describes his ass after a weekend in Haight-Asbury.
Ratner is hoping to get Carl Weathers to reprise his role as Apollo for this movie.
Hades potato chips are stale.
Demeter is the Greek Goddess of paying to avoid having your car towed.
This film will probably get Panned by the critics.
My wife and I will definitely not see this movie. I know some of you will Bacchus up.
Tartarus is where your teeth go when they don’t want to be brushed or flossed regularly.
One of my friends is a writer who happens to be a half-man, half-goat. He’s real big into writing Satyr.
I’d take my wife to see this film, but I don’t think it will be showing at a theater Nereus.
I heard this film got a bad review in Harpie’s Bazaar.Then again, what doesn’t?
I asked my pirate friend if I should see it and he told me "argonaut"
God of War, not to be confused with Edward James Olmos, the God of Pore.
If you happen to know of a theater Nereus, perhaps you could Pontus in the right direction.
By the way, if you’re ever at sea and run into my pirate friend, make sure to tell him "What’s Krakken?" for me.
We were at a concert and saw our good friend Homer. We waved at him for a few moments, but he wasn’t waving back. My wife asked me "Odysseus?"
Yup, it looks like theres finally a movie thats going to give Hitman a run for its money… By the way, how much did that gross again? $10 million? Oddly enough hes cast Michael Jackson to play Kratos. I guess its really hard to find pasty white freaks these days.