COMMENTS/WEEK: SPONGEBOB EDITION

Senior Editor
03.02.09 54 Comments

It’s comments of the week time again, folks.  This week’s winner gets Spongebob Squarepants vs. The Big One, the brand new DVD that’s fun for children and stoners of all ages – also featuring Johnny Depp as Jack Kahuna Laguna.

As always, the way this works is, when you read a comment you think worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section of this post (along with a link to that post, pretty please).  Then, the following Sunday/Monday, I’LL pick the winner from among the nominees. The winner gets a sweet prize.  (FYI, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).

Let’s get started with those who didn’t win but deserve recognition nonetheless.  From Oscars In Memoriam Snubs Don LaFontaine:

Stinky Peet says, “Roy Scheider’s last words were ‘You’re going to need a bigger list.'”

Same post, same commenter:

I hear Dan Rosen’s family is planning to write a strongly worded letter over his snub.

From Dog Who Says Mama Takes Germany By Storm:

Zog Durst (who I’d missed) says, “Zog no care coyote recite Declaration Independence, coyote taste same.”

From Paz Vega’s Butt is in a Movie aka Taken if Liam Neeson had been a Mexican Hitman:

Donkey Hodey says, ““If ju are lookeen for ransom, I can tell ju dat I don’t have money. But what I do have ees a set a skeelz dat make me a nightmare for putos like ju. I will look for ju, I will find ju, and I will cut ju.”

From Clint Eastwood FTW:

6waysfromSunday says, “I’m black, Clint. And there is a reason you can’t say racial slurs like “Nigger” and I can all day. The reason? Because you can say A WHOLE LOT MORE SHIT I can’t. Example? You get to say ‘Could you hurry it up officer’ without getting nightsticked in the mouth. I’d trade saying ‘Nigger’ with saying ‘Could you hurry it up officer’ in a heartbeat.

And:

It’s all making sense now. Pale Rider, Absolute Power, Honkytonk Man, A Perfect World. Clint is a White Supremacist. I feel like Chazz Palminteri looking at that bulletin board at the end of the Usual Suspects.

From the New Supergay Wolvering Poster (you have to look at the picture for this one):

Burnsy says, ““Oklahooooooooooooooooooooooma!!!”

From the The Guy from Super Troopers Has a Prosthetic Leg post (more of an exchange than a single comment):

Michelle07 says, “In my experience most guys with prosthetic legs will throw them out the window of your jeep when they’re drunk and joke about trying to stump you. Good times…good times.”

jokerswild says, “I had a prosthetic leg once. Found it on the side of the road. True story.”

jokerswild says, “Holy Hell! Chelle, maybe it was that guy’s leg I found!”

Michelle07 says, “It could be! Hmmm, I’m stumped.”

AND

Stinky Peet says, “He looks a little like a cross between Ashton Kutcher and Daniel Day Lewis. By which I mean, he could star in a film called Dude, Have You Seen My Left Foot?

From the Mac & Me Teddy Bear Alien McDonald’s Dance Party (seriously, watch the video if you haven’t yet):

Mark it Zero says, “This is exactly why I only eat at Ruth’s Chris now. I simply won’t tolerate aliens, kids, clowns, blacks, or teddy bears interrupting my meal.”

And for first runner up – I very nearly awarded this the win.  From Slumdog Millionaire Filmmakers Buy Actors New House:

Burnsy says, “In west Mumbai, born and raised,
On the production line is where I spent most of my days
Sewing shoes, starving, stinking all hell
And outsourcing for rupees for the company Dell
When a couple of Muslims who were up to no good
Cracked my mother in the face with a stick while I watched her drown”

He would’ve won, but I’m pretty sure it was actually Hindus who killed a Muslim lady in the movie.  Therefore, the winner is Rotwangchung, for this comment from Aphrodite IX is About a Sexy Cyborg Assassin:

Rotwangchung says, “Great, another Oscar for Kate Winslet.”

Thank you and goodnight afternoon. Please send me your address, Mr. Wangchung.

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