01.26.10 8 years ago 37 Comments

Undisputedly, Danny Trejo is pretty cool. Now stick a giant fu–ing knife in his hand and watch that coolness grow exponentially by 8%. It’s simple mathematics, dipsh-t. An equation so elementary that it seems even a few Fox executives could figure it out.

After screening 15 to 30 minutes worth of Machete, Robert Rodriguez’s upcoming Grindhouse homage, six major studios began vying for its distribution rights. Eventually, once the sexual tension and pheromones had dissipated from the room, a Fox accountant announced victory as she poured a Foldger’s can full of change across the table.

Fox reminded everyone that it was already very much in the Robert Rodriguez business making Predators, and Tom Rothman really wanted him to have a home there, and Rodriguez and Rothman get along well, so a deal was clinched. [NikkiFinke]

Sh-t son, I thought Danny Trejo negotiated his own distribution rights? I’ve always liked to picture him sitting quietly in a boardroom, snacking on half a tire like a watermelon, as some suit explains a pie chart:

Fox Executive: “So, if the total gross of Machete can earn back…um…Mr. Trejo, are you eating a tire?”

Danny Trejo: “Si.”

Fox Executive: “No way.”

Danny Tejo: “Si way, holmes. Si way…”
*takes another bite from tire*

Say what you will about Grindhouse, but that movie was fun as hell to catch in theaters. I’ll take it to my grave defending that Planet Terror was amazingly executed with deliberate sloppiness. Whether you love him or hate him, you have to give Rodriguez credit for smoking up a concept so outrageous that it might actually work.

Machete Trailer: NSFW due to four boobs at the 1:59 mark. Unless of course you work in a factory that manufactures boobs in sets of four, in which case this trailer is for you.

note: the youtube player is in pink, because that’s what Danny Trejo gets from the ladies.


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