‘Love Actually’ Actor Andrew Lincoln Admitted What We Always Knew About His Creepy Cue Cards

I had a hard time finding every post in which I’ve railed against Love Actually, on account of I hate it so much. Suffice it to say, I don’t like it. Basically every vignette is about a dude who likes a girl, and so he just sort of lurks in the background of her life until the day he makes some grand embarrassing gesture to prove he’s loved her all along. The worst of them is probably Andrew Lincoln’s Mark, who waits until after his crush is married to show up at her house with some cue cards — way easier than actually talking to her, right? He also screwed up her wedding film by shooting her lips and cheekbones the entire time, making you wonder if he’s got a whole cabinet full of other videos he secretly shot of her sleeping.

Anyway, The Wrap spoke to Lincoln about Mark recently, and Lincoln basically agreed with what we’ve thought all along.

“He is a stalker,” he said with a laugh. “That was my question to [director] Richard Curtis, ‘Do you not think we’re sort of borderline stalker territory here?’ And he said, ‘No, no. Not with you playing it, darling. You’ll be alright.’”

Well, attractive men do get away with much creepier behavior, no one denies this, but I’m not sure that defense holds up in court.

“I quite like the fact that I’m in one of the most romantic movies playing the only guy who doesn’t get the girl,” he said.

If you can’t get the girl, f*ck up her marriage to your best friend, I always say. And if she still doesn’t love you, maybe burn their house down? I don’t know, I’m just spitballing here. *spells out “I’LL DIE WITHOUT YOU” in blood of crush’s pet hamster*

“Ahh, c’est l’amour,” says a passing Frenchman, with a knowing nod.