FlipBoardWhat happens when you cross insane director Uwe Boll with retarded spoof movies like Meet the Spartans? Uhh, apparently you get a YouTube video of Verne Troyer telling Indiana Jones "I’ll fuck you up!" when they go head to head May 23rd. It’s unclear whether Boll’s movie Postal will actually be in theaters then, or if he’s just having people over to his house that day.
Collider has some more clips, but it’s probably best just to keep moving along as if you haven’t seen anything.
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whatthefuck?
FUCKJECTION!
Verne Troyer is an incredible talent.
I’m not even wasting my time watching anything that drunk little fucker does. Unless it’s hauling balls around a house on his rascal, hammered to the gills, while leaving a piss trail in his wake. Even then it’s only funny for 30 seconds. I wish I had a rascal. Maybe Buckwheat?
On May 23rd, there’s a greater chance of people seeing Bigfoot, 69-ing the Loch Ness Monster, than to see ‘Postal’ in theaters.
Verne Troyer looks like he has a disease.
The important question, Lance, is if Uwe had some people over to the house and you were invited would you take that as an acceptance of your challenge to fight him?
"We named the dog Uwe!"
Verne Troyer looks like he has a disease.Oompa-Loompitis?
He looks like a Quizno’s Spongmonkey.
Looks like I’m late to the party, as always. What’s up with this dick tucker threatening to sue over copyright infringement regarding the A³ Filmdrunk production?
I don’t trust anything under 3 feet that talks.
Erswi-not all dicktuckers are lawsuit-crazy!
I was going to make a joke but then I realized that little mutant probably still gets more ass than me. Dammit.
Pauly, I told the joke on the last thread.
It must be so cool to be a virus inside the body of a midget, just wrecking the fucking place.
I am lying, I am not a guy.And, I am a bad liar.Pauly, I loved those spongemonkeys. theyve got a pepper bar
*Pauly is checking last thread*
Verne Troyer scares me. Is that wrong?
So Verne Troyer literally has to take every job he’s offered, right?
What’s in the bag? That’s right, Frank Stallone.
The important question, Lance, is if Uwe had some people over to the house and you were invited would you take that as an acceptance of your challenge to fight him?Duh.
Of course Cho, he only gets half scale.
Seriously – which one of you fuckers sent me that note?
Stone-what did I miss today?
Well Lance, whatever you do when you fight Uwe (and I’m sure you’ll get the chance eventually), DO NOT go all Christian Bale and tuck your thumbs into your fists. You break one of THOSE thumbs and you may actually die. Then Uwe gets to say he won. And when Uwe wins, nobody wins.
see the post in the Soderbergh thread. Atari sent me a Cease and Desist note via the PM system here.
Come on, Stoney, that’s just the gorilla of life tossing yet another barrel down a zig-zagging ramp. You just got to jump over it, my man.
Can we hypothesize what’s next on the downward trajectory for Verne Troyer?Weak Austin Powers character –> Hollywood Miscreant –> Uwe Boll actor–> ? Will he have a guest appearance as a janitor in Water Lilies? When can this little shit overdose on Ambien already
I’ll say it again Stone. This is either the greatest April Fool’s joke in the history of blogdom, or it’s the greatest prank pulled on a major corporation in the history of blogdom. Either way, well done sir.
Verne’s a fucking midget. All midgets are the direct sparn of satan evil seed. They are agents of the Morning Star and exhaulted so that they are above the ranks of flame. Verne must be stopped.Height Power! Height Power! Height Power!
Verne Troyer looks like a pumpkin that I punched to death on my front step.
I’m so glad I checked that post for errors before I hit send.
Or someone is fucking with me, which is freaking me out… Lance? Are you behind this, you big thumbed fucker?
That’s 100,000% correct Crappy. As I’ve always said, tallness is next to godliness.
Verne Troyer’s eyes have been awake for 37 days.
I think I have it narrowed down to two suspects:Jack! and LanceJack! has the brains to pull a prank like this, but Lance would have the technical skills from the baord to make it a real mindfuck.
This is true Erswi.
Crappy, provided you could come up with some type of visual evidence of your divine stature you may be eligible for admission into my charter religious organization. The Church of the Divine Elevation of the Tallness of Tall Persons is actively recruiting in your area. Don’t miss out on your opportunity to be saved by the blessings of the higher powers.
Verne Troyer is scheduled to star in an upcoming spin-off of MTV’s The Hills.
Hey, can I start a Texas chapter Erswi? Just for chicks?
I dunno Fek, the C&D could be real. I got an insanely high score on Pac-Man one time and two corporate thugs came to my house and broke my feet. Those Atari folks don’t fuck around.
And ladies, in recognition of nature’s cruel prank making your average heights less than that of the most divine among men, we’ve even instituted pro-rated acceptance requirements for you girls. Provided you can provide visual proof of your divine tallness and your amazingly firm and bountiful bosoms. (That last part is pretty much just a requirement of mine so send those photos directly to me and I’ll forward your application on through to the full board.
I wish I had come up with the Atari thing, but alas, it was not me. I’d admit it if it was.
Oh and um . . . end parentheses up there as well.
Jack! you seriously need to bring the funny with that avatar so that I can read it with Strongbad’s voice (in my head).
Fuck. I don’t even want to think about god damned mini me jokes right now.Good prank, whoever is doing this. Unless it’s real – then I’m fucking proud people bought the whole trilogy thing.
As my own April Fool’s Prank, I’m going to shit my pants and then walk around the office like an old cowboy going “Who shit in my pants!? Who shit in my pants!?”
…it’s funny because it was me, get it?
I have started brother chapters of the CDETT in several municipalities. It’s hard to get one up and running in an Asian community though. Those little fuckers are tiny, and I’m now certain, some manner of demi-midgets sent her to infiltrate tall society and perturb our harmonious grace of height.
Is Big Verne looking younger? He must have that Progeria in reverse. He needs to work on his whip cracking skills or else he’ll never make it as a lion tamer.