[here’s that autotune sketch, easily the highlight of the evening – via DailyWhat]
The Oscars happened last night and The King’s Speech was the big winner, taking home Best Picture, Best Director for Tom Hooper (he didn’t deserve it for this, but call it a late award for John Adams), Best Actor for Colin Firth, and Best Original Screenplay for 73-year-old David Seidler. It’s surprising, mainly because The King’s Speech sucked huge old wrinkly British gravy-covered stuttering balls. Okay, maybe it wasn’t terrible, but The King’s Speech is not a film that should Best Picture at the Oscars, it’s a film that should win Best Picture at a parody of the Oscars. If Seltzer-Friedberg were slightly talented and made a film called “Oscar Movie,” it would look exactly like The King’s Speech. Colin Firth is great and Geoffrey Rush is a gangster, but seriously? That was the best movie of the year? A stuttering king and his unorthodox mentor? It really drives home the fact that the people who vote on this are a thousand years old.
People will bag on the hosts today, but people bag on the hosts every year. Hosting the Oscars is a no-win situation. They should’ve gotten a comedian, but Anne Hathaway seemed reasonably charming, not counting the opening monologue. She even had some fun with Melissa Leo dropping the F-bomb in her speech (I love her so much more now), much like this Variety writer.
“…stiff, awkward banter between James Franco and Anne Hathaway throughout. While Melissa Leo dropped an ‘f-bomb’ early on, the ‘f’ words best describing the proceedings would be ‘flat,’ ‘fumbling’ and ‘familiar’.” [Variety via Durden]
(*riding by on pink Segway*) OOOOOOoooooohhhhh snaaaaaaaaaaapppp…..
You know that dork was high-fiving the hell out of his buddies in the news room after he came up with that line, sipping tea and puffing inhalers like fine pipe tobacco. I like to imagine the show being written by a person who considered that a righteous zinger. Anyway, Melissa Leo is great, and between her and Monique, you’ve gotta figure that that Best Supporting Actress is the odds-on favorite to bring the (charming) crazy in her acceptance speech from here on out.
It sucks that Kirk Douglas is so old and terrifying, because him busting Hugh Jackman’s balls about “why are Australians always laughing?” was probably the most honest moment of candidness the entire evening. When you’re 94 and stroked out, going off prompter for minutes at a time is a pretty balls out move, a pretty corpse-going-down-a-log-flume-with-a-boner move, you might say. I think Joe King put it best:
“Kirk Douglas should know better than to eat a glob of peanut butter before hitting the stage! Was he promoting Night at the Museum 3?”
Man. It’s a good thing I’ll never be old.
OH RIGHT, THE COREY HAIM SNUB
That’s right, even with fair warning after the SAG awards snub, Corey Haim was still left out of the In Memoriam montage — which was accompanied by a Celine Dion song, by the way. Whose idea was that, anyway? When’s the last time Celine Dion was famous, let alone liked? At first I assumed her husband was going to be in the montage, and when he wasn’t I was just confused by the choice. But yeah, they left Corey Haim off, which everyone noticed immediately, but they also left out Peter Graves from Airplane! and Maria Schneider from Last Tango in Paris. While I certainly don’t believe in pretending people are more important in death than they were in life, this was unforgivable. Ronni Chasen was a publicist. She didn’t make movies. If you’ve got time to honor her, you’ve got time to honor Corey Haim and the guy from Airplane!.
Best Picture
* Black Swan
* The Fighter
* Inception
* The Kids Are All Right
* The King’s Speech – WINNER
* 127 Hours
* The Social Network
* Toy Story 3
* True Grit
* Winter’s BoneBest Actor
* Javier Bardem, Biutiful
* Jeff Bridges, True Grit
* Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
* Colin Firth, The King’s Speech – WINNER
* James Franco, 127 HoursBest Actress
* Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
* Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
* Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
* Natalie Portman, Black Swan – WINNER
* Michelle Williams, Blue ValentineBest Supporting Actor
* Christian Bale, The Fighter – WINNER
* John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone
* Jeremy Renner, The Town
* Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right
* Geoffrey Rush, The King’s SpeechBest Supporting Actress
* Amy Adams, The Fighter
* Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
* Melissa Leo, The Fighter – WINNER
* Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
* Jacki Weaver, Animal KingdomBest Director
* Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
* David O. Russell, The Fighter
* Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech – WINNER
* David Fincher, The Social Network
* Joel & Ethan Coen, True GritBest Original Screenplay
* Another Year
* The Fighter
* Inception
* The Kids Are All Right
* The King’s Speech – WINNERBest Adapted Screenplay
* 127 Hours
* The Social Network – WINNER
* Toy Story 3
* True Grit
* Winter’s BoneBest Animated Film
* How to Train Your Dragon
* The Illusionist
* Toy Story 3 – WINNERBest Foreign Language Film
* Biutiful
* Dogtooth
* In A Better World – WINNER
* Incendies
* Outside the LawBest Art Direction
* Alice in Wonderland – WINNER
* Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
* Inception
* The King’s Speech
* True GritCinematography
* Black Swan
* Inception – WINNER
* The King’s Speech
* The Social Network
* True GritCostume Design
* Alice in Wonderland – WINNER
* I Am Love
* The King’s Speech
* The Tempest
* True GritEditing
* Black Swan
* The Fighter
* The King’s Speech
* 127 Hours
* The Social Network – WINNERSound Mixing
* Inception – WINNER
* The King’s Speech
* Salt
* The Social Network
* True GritSound Editing
* Inception – WINNER
* Toy Story 3
* Tron: Legacy
* True Grit
* UnstoppableOriginal Score
* How to Train Your Dragon
* Inception
* The King’s Speech
* 127 Hours
* The Social Network – WINNEROriginal Song
* “Coming Home” from Country Strong
* “I See the Light” from Tangled
* “If I Rise” from 127 Hours
* “We Belong Together” from Toy Story 3 – WINNERDocumentary Feature
* Exit through the Gift Shop
* Gasland
* Inside Job – WINNER
* Restrepo
* Waste LandDocumentary (short subject)
* Killing in the Name
* Poster Girl
* Strangers No More – WINNER
* Sun Come Up
* The Warriors of QiugangMakeup
* Barney’s Version
* The Way Back
* The Wolfman – WINNERAnimated Short Film
* Day & Night
* The Gruffalo
* Let’s Pollute
* The Lost Thing – WINNER
* Madagascar, a Journey DiaryLive Action Short Film
* The Confession
* The Crush
* God of Love – WINNER
* Na Wewe
* Wish 143Visual Effects
* Alice in Wonderland
* Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
* Hereafter
* Inception – WINNER
* Iron Man 2