Sam Jackson ain’t gettin’ tired of these muthaf*ckin’ paychecks!

Senior Editor
04.16.10 15 Comments

I like Sam Jackson, because he’s a great actor with enough clout to only do Oscar-bait, Holocaust retarded-person dramas every five years if he wanted, but instead he takes anything he’s offered just for the hell of it.  I hear he’ll even help you impress your blind date later if you hook a brother up with some of that shrimp cocktail.  

Samuel L. Jackson and Kellan Lutz [Twilight, those angry gay Calvin Klein ads (included below)] are in negotiations to star in “Deathgames.” The story centers on a young man (Lutz) who is kidnapped and forced into the savage world of a modern gladiator arena, where men fight to the death for entertainment of the online masses. Jackson orchestrates the games, overseeing them from his computer lair with the help of twin ladies who see to his every desire. [THR]

I don’t know, this concept is almost… too original.  Are we sure the world is ready for a film about men condemned to do battle?  *dismissive wank, mouth fart, autofellatio walrus*

…But please, tell me more about these ladies who see to my every desire.  Mmm, yeah, that’s it, baby.  Scrub aaaall the lint and grime from behind my fridge.  Yes! Yes! Oh, don’t stop!  It feels so good, this hasn’t been done in years….

KELLEN LUTZ: You wanna see my sh*t?
SAM JACKSON: NO I don’t wanna see your shit, and I hope you burn in hail!

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