10.03.07 10 years ago 40 Comments

The Hollywood Repoter is reporting that The Fast and the Furious 4 is on its way – and the original stars, Paul Walker and Vin Diesel will be back, with Justin Lin again on to direct (probably ’cause he’s Asian).

OMG, it’s the sequel announcement we’ve all been waiting for! And by all, I mean six Asian guys with pikachu hair and Nick Hogan!  It’s like Christmas morning for people who listen to techno in their car!*  Vroom vroom, it’s the ravemobile!  Next stop mediocrity!

Paul Walker is basically the male equivalent of Jessica Alba.  If they hooked up, it could spawn an entirely new species, of androgynous midgets who can’t act.  And wait a second, how come Fast and the Furious gets three sequels?  The first one was basically exactly like Point Break, and yet they only made one of those.  

The way I see it, Hollywood, you owe me three Point Breaks.  Anything without Gary Busey and people firing their guns into the air and going "AHHH!!" doesn’t count. 

*People who listen to techno in their car vs. white people with dreadlocks – your thoughts.

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