02.04.10 8 years ago 53 Comments

(Vinnie Jones with his wi– HOLY GOD WHAT’S THAT IN THE BACKGROUND?!)

Vinnie Jones took time out of his busy schedule of beating up chubby Mexican dudes recently to announce his intention to open a Snatch-themed bar in Santa Monica with his pal and fellow athlete-turned-actor Jason Statham. From HolyMoly:

“Me and Jay have been talking about it for about a year. We were thinking The Snatch Bar or something like that down in Santa Monica. We’re going to do it, it’s just a question of us finding the time.”

Naturally, we turn now to FilmDrunk regular The Stath for comment.

Oy, cunts.  Stafe ‘eah, donnit.  So da ovva day, Jonesy wiz ringin’ me fockin’ oiPhone off da ‘ook, now wasn’ ‘e?  Da trouble is, dem cunts ‘asn’t made da oiPhone’s touch screens very strong, now ‘as dey?  So aftah da Stafe broke frough four or foive a da cunts, oy fought I moight just meet da cunt in person, innit.  So den Jonesy rocks up, an ‘e’s loike, “Oy, Stafe, wot you fink about a fockin’ Snatch bah?”, innit.

An oy’s loike, “Oy, a fockin’ snatch bah?  You cheeky cunt, dat is well good oidea, donnit.  Aw dis toime oy spend shoinin’ moy sazz wagon an doin’ a fousand situps a day to attract da birds, oy could be spendin’ sittin’ at a fockin’ snatch bah ordrin off da fockin’ menu, now don’ oy?”  An’ Jonesy sez, “No, ya cunt, you ‘as got it aw wrong.”

An ‘is tone made da Stafe wew angry, so we’s tussled aroun’ for a whoile an broke a few tables, but eventually oy got da oidea.   Oy guess da moral a da story is, Jonesy’s koind of a twaat, an’ ‘is oideas werent nearly as good as oy fought dey were, now is dey?  Regahdless, come ‘n drink at Da Stafe’s bah, ya cunts, it’s not loike you ‘as got anyfing bettah ta do, now is dey.

Oy, very funny, ya cunt.  You is gonna be wearin’ dat noice bottle you is drinkin pretty soon.

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