UPDATE: Yeah, Um, This Is The Official Piranha 3D Teaser Trailer

04.27.10 9 years ago 10 Comments

“What’s it sayin’, Nic? What is it girl?”

Update: Weinsteins for the win. Well, looks like those two oblong-shaped bastards felt like teasing you with only the idea of a teaser. Unfortunately every video I’m finding has had the embedding code removed like a witch doctor’s vasectomy. You can click here to head on over to youtube and watch the video from there…or, you know, we could just stay right here…in this moment…gazing at each other.

Attention everyone, if I may interrupt the ceremonial group sex for just a moment, I’d like to introduce you all to our newest cult group member. Everybody, this is the official teaser trailer for Piranha 3D…teaser trailer for Piranha 3D, this is everybody. Yes, that’s right folks I said “teaser”, because unlike most other trailers, this one is fairly hush-hush when it comes to revealing any kind of plot points or character reveals, so STFU.

Haha, you queers I was only kidding. This trailer might as well be the entire damn movie. Now please, commence with the orgy!

Well played Piranha 3D, well played. Reel us in under false pretensions and then blind us with clip after clip of your ridiculous product. Alas, as much as I want to berate you for your dishonesty, I can’t help but kinda’ respect your spirit; kids got moxie. Makes me wish that more teasers in life offered overindulgence…like my 8th grade girlfriend, LaTonya. Come on girl, if you loved me you’d let me touch them.

*bats eyelashes*


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