Yes, a Piranha 3D sequel. Yes, already.

Senior Editor
08.24.10 17 Comments

Dammit, Hollywood.  This is why no one wants to encourage you. Piranha 3D gets decent reviews and does middling box office ($10 million on a $24 million production budget so far, number six at the box office), and you’re already making official sequel announcements.  IT’S BEEN OUT FOR LESS THAN A WEEK. What the hell is wrong with you people?

Dimension Films is pleased to announce that PIRANHA 3D – THE SEQUEL is in the works.  PIRANHA 3D producer Mark Canton stated, “We are thrilled that audiences are not just loving PIRANHA 3D, but cheering for it.  And it’s fantastic that so many critics are really getting the movie and recommending it.  We can’t wait to get to work on the sequel.” [from Dimension’s press release]

I really hope this is just a clever publicity stunt to get people talking about Piranha 3D by having people like me bitch about it, because seriously?  It’s Piranha 3D.  It was already a remake.  Now you have to rehash it again? Why not just make Eel? Or Mega Trout?  Or Banana Fish?  The formula is people dying + tits, you didn’t discover cold fusion. You could call it Juggalo Baby Funeral as long as Kelly Brook gets motorboated by a porn star in the trailer.  Anyway, I can’t wait for the eventual Piranha reboot, based on the popular board game, spawned by the animated series, based on the video game, based on the 3D remake of 1978’s Piranha, based on DW Griffith’s original “Piranna!” from 1917. (The piranna were said to be a metaphor for the rise of uppityness in blacks).

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