If there’s anything the past 15 years of The Sims has taught us, it’s that we can sometimes be sick, sadistic murders of otherwise unreal video game characters. Even the folks at Electronic Arts have celebrated this with commercials identifying the potential murdery goodness of new features in The Sims 4. Of course, a recent Ask Reddit forum dedicated to the issue blew up with responses.
The questioner specifically asked, “What is the worst thing you’ve ever done in The Sims series?” The answers were, well, Jesus-Christ-on-a-crutch…
Not everyone who plays The Sims endeavors to kill computer characters or theirs. They were just mean:
I made a house filled with swimming pools so that everything was on an island.
With all of the constant swimming to eat, sleep, pee, play basketball, etc not to mention constantly changing from clothes to swimsuit and back, my sims spent their lives in perpetual exhaustion.
They were also genuinely funny, especially when the game’s automated moments conflicted with individual gameplay:
My greaser jock type turned out to be a sensitive artsy type, never leaving home and working on masterpieces. One day, a thief broke in, and they got into a fight; though my guy got his ass kicked, the thief ran.
A few days later, I was looking through his relationships, and there was a lady that didn’t like him; no idea why, just they were angry at one another. So I called her up.
They turned out to have a lot in common and got along really well, well enough that she was moving in a few days later.
Career: burglar. That bitch.
Whenever murder isn’t involved, it’s almost always sex. Lots and lots of simulated sex. Maybe too much sex:
I had my Sim impregnate every female (adult) Sim in the game. He had a bunch of kids he never visited.
All the men hated him, and the women eventually hated him because he was constantly cheating. Whenever the younger female Sims became “of age,” my Sim would impregnate them, too.
After a few generations, the entire town was full of half-siblings, which made them not want to mate together. They slowly died.
One response was even uncomfortably close to real life:
I briefly fell asleep while playing and when i awoke, cps had taken the child away while the parents were gaming.
Let’s face it, though. The best worst answers all involved murdering sims. Some were still about sex:
I recently found out you can kill old sims by overexertion in the sims 4. My sim is going around town fucking all the old people to death and once death shows up she proceeds to make friends with him. I’m counting up graves until my sim can bang death.
Others revealed a gameplay trigger enacted by Maxis:
I built a haunted house and killed like 3 families for the cemetery. The game literally gave me a pop up saying the Sims is a *life * simulation, and that I’m killing too many Sims.
But the highest-rated, most-commented answers were also some of the darkest. I mean, we’re talking A Serbian Film levels of filth:
A few friends and I had a contest, we had 4 hours to rack up as many points as possible. You could get points in a ton of ways and I went for the family portraits, 1 point for every unique self portrait of someone in my family.
I had 2 wives locked up in separate buildings on my lot, since they couldn’t reach me to catch me in the act, I could keep them both pregnant 24/7. Then I placed all the babies in my daycare room, made a portrait of them and then I let them die. I tried keeping the babysitter there continously at first, but it was just a hassle.
A few of the dark ones were clever, like this aquatically themed bit:
One time I killed a sim by drowning. Then I made everyone show up to his funeral in swimwear.
Others were still goal oriented, especially when it came to home ownership:
So, in my most recent Sims playthrough, I found this girl that I really wanted my Sim to marry. Problem is she already had a husband, so rather than just doing the (relatively) normal thing and just increasing the relationship and convincing her to break up with him, I instead became best friends with her husband, convinced him to move in with me, and then drowned him in a pool so I could marry his wife.
Then I moved in with his wife (who lived in a HUGE mansion) and killed the rest of her family because I didn’t feel like taking care of the other Sims that she lived with but I still wanted the house.
But the worst of them all involved repetition, lots and lots of repetition:
I made a guy who was a compulsive neatfreak. Put him in a really surreal little house with a wedding buffet and a hamster or something, deleted the door. Eventually he went insane from lack of cleanliness and depression over his little rodent friend dying, and starved to death once the banquet rotted. I put the resulting urn in the room. I then repeated an identical scenario several times, always keeping the urns in the room. Eventually the tenth iteration of this guy is up all night, every night, terrified of a parade of ghosts of himself.
I’ve done some pretty vile things while playing The Sims, but these are just staggering. There’s one in particular I won’t (and probably shouldn’t) re-post here, so I’ll just give you a link to it. Not surprisingly, I want to spend the rest of the day playing The Sims.
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while playing The Sims? Anything worse than what the best bowels of Reddit could conjure up?
(Via Reddit)