Nick Giovannetti is a name you may know if you’re a fan of Paul Scheer; they’ve been writing partners for some time, putting out things like Aliens vs. Parker, Deadpool Bi-Annual, the upcoming Adult Swim show Bad Guys, and this week’s Guardians Team-Up #7 from Marvel, where Drax the Destroyer and Ant-Man hit South Beach in grand Miami Vice fashion.
Nick was nice enough to take a few minutes out of his busy schedule recently to answer a few questions from us.
1. You walk into a bar. What do you order from the bartender?
I usually look at the taps and pretend like I know what I’m looking at for a second. Then order the cheapest beer and shot special, because I’m classy and I’m worth it.
2. Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?
@TVsAndyDaly really makes me laugh. There are a lot of great people on Twitter, but Andy Daly is probably my favorite.
3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR/TiVO?
Hannibal — Mads Mikkelsen’s hair game is powerful.
iZombie — I f*cks with this show hard. I loved Veronica Mars, this show is filling that void for me.
Suits — I get made fun for liking this show, but anyone who teases me can go f*ck themselves. They’re sad people who don’t have Harvey Specter in their life.
Mr. Robot — Really dug the first two episodes. Can’t wait to see where this show goes.
Inside Amy Schumer — This season has been great. I love this show.
True Detective — The first episode of this season was sluggish, but dat second episode, doe.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver — John Oliver is the best.
Bar Rescue — I’m mesmerized by Jon Taffer. His body language is half the show to me. He’s constantly projecting his alpha maleness through gestures. One episode when he was talking to a guy that was bigger than him, Taffer actually beat on his own chest like a gorilla to establish dominance.
4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?
I spent a lot of time in Chicago growing up, so either a combo beef dipped from Portillo’s or a deep dish sausage pizza from Lou Malnati’s or Burt’s Place.
5. What websites do you visit on a regular basis?
Save for Uproxx (I’m not just an interviewee, I’m also a reader) and Reddit, I don’t really go to specific sites anymore. I mostly just go to social media stuff like Twitter or Facebook and see what’s trending and go from there. I’ve actually been on a avoid the internet kick lately. Somewhere along the line, outrage and finger wagging replaced lolcats, and we’ve been worse off every since. The internet used to be that friend who was always fun to hangout with, now it’s that asshole that you avoid because he won’t stop complaining.
6. What’s the most frequently played song on your mobile device?
Currently most played is the entire Run the Jewels 2 album. That’s been on repeat since it came out. Love those dudes. When I’m not listening to RTJ:
Nicki Minaj — Only (feat. Drake, Lil Wayne & Chris Brown). This song really makes me laugh. Each rapper begins their verse emphatically denying that they’re f*cking each other. I need this to become a trend. I need all songs begin with a proclamation on whether or not the people making the music are screwing.
A$AP Rocky — Everyday (feat. Rod Stewart, Miguel & Mark Ronson). Another Rod Stewart banger. But hey, A$AP: Next time, let us know if your Rod has touched his.
Action Bronson — Baby Blue (feat. Chance the Rapper). Anytime Action and Chance get together, it’s great, but if I’m honest, I think the song would be greatly benefited by a verse about whether or not the two rappers took a chance at f*cking each other.
7. The first face that comes to mind when you think “punchable?”
Nobody really. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I smoke weed and box. You can get rid of a lot of aggression that way.
8. What’s the last thing you googled?
“Arkham Knight Riddler Trophies.” I love Arkham Knight so much, I was going to go through the tedious process of finding all the Riddler trophies, but half way through, there was one I couldn’t find, so I gave up. Riddler will be enjoying his stay in basement of that orphanage forever.
9. Dogs or cats?
Cats. All day. They’re way funnier and cooler. Dogs are like most people’s kids. I like some, but the rest are all smelly, messy and needy. I only pretend to like them so that nobody knows that deep down inside I’m a monster.
10. Best concert of your life was…?
I’ve been to a ton of great concerts, but there was only one where I got to go on stage and throw Faygo at a crowd. That was during an Insane Clown Posse show at Hammerstein Ballroom. I worked for them at the time, so I wasn’t some random asshole who ran up on stage.
11. What book are you most likely to give as a gift?
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, and I do give it out as gifts all the time. If you’re a writer, creative person, or just have something in the back of your mind that you want to do, but you keep putting it off, read this book.
12. What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?
My mom and sister have always had my back. Here is one example: My younger sister once beat up a family of bullies for me. You’d think that would be emasculating, but it wasn’t. She is pretty badass. I think I was around 6, so she would have been 4. These three goons (who were older than us) were teaming up and hitting me. Somehow, my sister found out about it and just magically appeared. She beat the breaks off those kids. Like legit Wolverine berserker rage beat down. She was clawing and eye-gouging. I don’t even know where she learned that stuff. Later that night, the three goon’s dad called my parents to complain about my sister beating up his sons, and my parents just laughed and hung the phone up on him. And just so that family knows, my family still laughs about your bitch-ass sons.
13. South Park or Family Guy?
South Park over everything. That’s the best show of all-time. No show has ever made me laugh as hard or as many times as South Park. This last season was one of the best ones yet. I don’t know how they do it.
14. You have an entire day to do whatever you want. What would you do?
Floors seats at a Bulls game. I’d need to be seated next to Kanye and Pippen, of course, and we’d obviously all become fast friends because game recognizes game. You know how it goes. I don’t make the rules.
15. What movie can you not resist watching if it’s on?
The Departed or any of the Nolan Batman movies.
16. The sports team or teams you’re most passionate about?
The Chicago Bulls. Outside of basketball, I’m more of a combat sports guy. I love boxing and the UFC.
17. Where did you eat the best meal of your life?
Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles when you’re stoned is very hard to beat.
18. The last movie you saw in a theater?
Dope. I liked it.
19. Who was your first celebrity crush?
Punky Brewster. She tied one of those bandanas around my heart.
20. What would you cook if Nic Cage was coming to your house for dinner?
I think I’d just place a bottle of whiskey and a revolver on the table and see where the night went.
PREVIOUSLY: Nick Watt
