Welcome to Reality TV Roundup — a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do…
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week’s program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don’t come crying to me if you find out something you didn’t want to know. You’ve been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too.
COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS
AMERICA’S GOT TALENT
My podcast guest co-host Craig Gass has a take on the “America’s Got Talent” comedian dust-up you haven’t heard.
New judges Heidi Klum and Mel B take to the judges’ table, but how did they do?
THE BACHELORETTE
The men are forced to stumble through a rap video, and Des sends home some more knuckleheads.
The men are forced to stumble through a rap video, and Des sends home some more knuckleheads.
Ben explains why he’s not a politician by acting just like a politician. We are still allowed to hate him.
Oh, and remember Sean and Catherine of “The Bachelor”? Living together, but in separate beds. We’re just amazed they’re still together, period.
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
It was off to Memphis for a few great dancers and more than a few nutballs.
It was off to Memphis for a few great dancers and more than a few nutballs.
NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY
The ladies join the growing ranks of reality TV stars seemingly horrified by nudity. Whatever.
The ladies join the growing ranks of reality TV stars seemingly horrified by nudity. Whatever.
Vicki is totally being sued for her vodka, yo, and she’s deleted her Twitter! This is serious! Or something!
PRINCESSES: LONG ISLAND
Watch some women live at home and mooch off their wealthy parents. Don’t throw anything at your TV, as Bravo won’t replace it for you.
Watch some women live at home and mooch off their wealthy parents. Don’t throw anything at your TV, as Bravo won’t replace it for you.
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY
Melissa and Teresa must arrange a playdate, which is apparently tantamount to an international incident.
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS
Brandi says Kenya of “RHoA” reeks of desperation. Hahahahahaha!
MISC.
Returning “Ice Road Truckers” star Lisa Kelly talks about how much it sucks to be good at what you do and yet still entirely disrespected by some asshats.
Joan Rivers and daughter Melissa are going to do an episode of “Celebrity Wife Swap.” Which does not make sense.
Watch these clips from “Property Wars” and just be glad you aren’t buying foreclosed houses sight unseen.
“America’s Next Top Model” will return with guys and gals in August. It’s like the unisex bathroom version!
“Brand X with Russell Brand” gets canceled. This probably isn’t a big deal to most people, as no one seemed to be watching it.
“Top Chef Masters” to return with a new twist — sous chefs to torture!
“Pretty Wicked Moms” was just as awful as you might expect it to be.
Discovery devotes a special to dead storm chasers, whose family members will never again be able to say “I told you that was dangerous.”
Babies cry on “Cake Boss,” and that’s even after they’re invited to smash up some pretty cakes. We’d call them babies, but, you know.
The only member of the Kardashian clan who seems to have a functioning personality, Kris Jenner, will host a talk show. Yay.
Speaking of Kardashians, Kanye West will not be in the delivery room with Kim. Blood makes him squeamish. Yeah, tough guy rapper can’t handle the baby thing. Weenie.
Someone ran over Honey Boo Boo’s pet dog. Bastard.
Jennifer Lopez might come back to “American Idol.” Or not. I hear they’re understaffed there.