This Is What $100 Avocado Toast Looks Like

Remember a few weeks ago when millionaire Tim Gurner admonished an entire generation for wasting all their money on avocado toast instead of buying houses? While it turns out that his analysis was naive at best * — millennials are spending their money on travel, and for good reason — we here at Uproxx were determined to see just how much avocado toast you’d need to eat to really feel the pinch in your wallet. Can one make an avocado toast so fancy, so ornate that just one slice would cut a huge dent into your weekly budget?

Turns out, $100 avocado toast can be yours and our tireless correspondents — Social Producer Frankie Greek and Life Managing Editor Steve Bramucci — took a trip to Burnt Crumbs at Pacific City in Huntington Beach to challenge Chef Paul Cao to create avocado toast that would run a cool hundo.

So what do you spread on a slice of bread to make it worth a Franklin (look hard at his face, is Ben disapproving? Probably!)? Start with mashed avocado, top that with white truffles (no truffle oil!) and add a healthy helping of butter-poached lobster. That sounds good already, but you know how millennials gotta be: Extra. If it doesn’t glitter, they don’t want it in their mouths, right Tim Gurner? Chef Paul knows so he iced this beautiful disaster (read the rest of this post while playing the iconic Kelly Clarkson bop) (311 is fine, too, we guess) with some gold flakes. (Yes, they’re edible; yes, they’re very very expensive.)

Enough talk! Here’s a picture:

Bet that house payment’s not looking so good now! Here’s how you get a piece of avocado toast to $100.

Gaze into the avocado toast, but beware: When you set eyes upon its mashed-up splendor, it also gazes back into you, asking “was this all worth it? Don’t you have a student loan to pay?”

Don’t ask Steve and Frankie: They loved every bite. And they’d probably go back. If only they had another $100.

*We’re gracious here. Unlike some 35-year-old real estate tycoons we could name.