I have spoken my truth: I am a roller coaster wimp. But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy theme parks — or scary rides. Especially at Universal Studios, which has some of the most thrilling attractions (and horror nights) in the world.
Of course, getting scared means different things to different people. For instance, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon might not seem intimidating at first glance, until you see there’s a 50-minute wait to watch Jimmy Fallon dance in tight pants. Haunting! But generally speaking, I’m defining “scary” as rides that will make you scream with delight. I’m also only focusing on Universal Studios Hollywood and Universal Studios Florida.
There are two divisions: non-roller coasters, which include dark rides, drop rides, and water rides; and roller coasters based on other people’s experiences (again: a coaster wimp here) and how terrifying they are for me to look at.
CATEGORY: Non-Roller Coaster
It’s tempting to pick drop tower Doctor Doom’s Fearfall, but no ride that involves “fear juice” (as immortalized in an episode of Podcast: The Ride) can be considered the scariest. Instead, I’m going with an unlikely choice: Dudley Do-Right’s Ripsaw Falls.
How can a ride based on an animated Canadian Mountie be scary, you might be wondering. For one thing, most of the scariest Universal rides are coasters, and this is the non-coaster category. But Dudley Do-Right’s Ripsaw Falls has a steep drop at the end that made me close my eyes and let out a yell that could be heard all the way in Hogwarts (Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, with its dips and turns through the castle, is another worthy non-coaster contender).
You know what you’re getting immediately with Doctor Doom’s Fearfall. On Dudley, it’s the anticipation that the scary part isn’t coming until the end that will get your pulse pounding. Jurassic Park: The Ride technically has a steeper drop, but Dudley Do-Right’s Ripsaw Falls feels more intense and without a cool dinosaur to distract you.
Last note: You will get soaked.
Winner:
Dudley Do-Right’s Ripsaw Falls
CATEGORY: Roller Coaster
This is a two-way race between two Florida-based coasters: The Incredible Hulk Coaster in Islands of Adventure, which opened in 1999, and Jurassic World VelociCoaster, which is also located in Islands of Adventure but it’s a newcomer with a 2021 debut.
Let’s start with Hulk. The word “intense” is used a lot when describing the ride, and occasionally “discombobulating.” It’s not as smooth as many modern-day coasters. Still, it’s a huge favorite: The Incredible Hulk Coaster is rated a solid 7.9 out of 10 on All Ears (for comparison, The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man, one of the best dark rides ever, has an 8.1).
As for VelociCoaster, well, just look at this beast.
I wouldn’t step near that thing, so I’ll have to take The Park Prodigy’s word for it when they call VelociCoaster “without a doubt, the most intense ride at Universal Orlando.” But if you can handle the four inversions, 140-foot drop at an 80-degree angle, and speeds up to 70 MPH, it’s a ride you can’t miss. VelociCoaster is widely considered to be the best roller coaster in the world.
Winner:
Jurassic World VelociCoaster
