Over the last year and change — the last five, really — we’ve gotten used to news that could best be described as Mad Libs. This genre combines a number of random, perhaps even incongruous elements together in one surreal piece of news. Remember murder hornets? So when places like The Hollywood Reporter reported Tuesday that Elizabeth Banks, actress-turned-successful cineaste, was directing a movie called Cocaine Bear, there was no way its epic absurdity wouldn’t go over well on social media.
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) March 9, 2021
Maybe the best part: It sounds like an amazing movie! Actually, no. The best part is it’s based on a true story. It’s inspired by an event reported on The New York Times in 1985, in which a 175-pound black bear died after consuming the contents of a duffle bag fill with more than 170 pounds of coke. How did the bear get so much blow? It fell from a plane piloted by a convicted drug smuggler, who himself died while parachuting with too heavy a load. The bear was found dead, surrounded by 40 opened containers containing traces of cocaine.
It’s not clear how much of the real deal will wind up in Banks’ film, but it’s safe the approach will be at least partly comedic: Her producers are no less than Phil Lord and Chris Miller. But it’s clear a film entitled Cocaine Bear has set a very high bar for itself. Once news of its existence broke, social media went wild.
I gotta admit, as far as movie titles go "COCAINE BEAR" slaps two-thousand percent harder than any movie title I've read in years.
There is no way in hell that anyone can make a film that truly lives up to the name COCAINE BEAR. https://t.co/rYu9D3G2CT
— Rani Baker, Write Break To Address $400C-$400F 👾 (@destroyed4com4t) March 9, 2021
I had lived my whole life without reading the words "bear-centric thriller COCAINE BEAR" and now I know that I was always living a lie https://t.co/k6BfPX1Akw
— Jude Ellison S. Doyle (@sadydoyle) March 9, 2021
COCAINE BEAR. https://t.co/eAbwV5adVx
— Lizzie O'Leary (@lizzieohreally) March 9, 2021
There were memes.
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) March 9, 2021
And casting ideas.
Honestly, after the past six months I've had, it's a little hurtful I didn't even get asked to audition for the role of Cocaine Bear.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) March 9, 2021
And ambitious plans.
I am here for the COCAINE BEAR CINEMATIC UNIVERSE. I’ll buy the action figures. I’ll get the app. I’ll make my kid watch the kid-friendly Netflix cartoon. Is there a Halloween costume? Put me in it. https://t.co/Y9d5fOWM4L
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) March 9, 2021
Maybe there can be an MCU crossover?
When Hulk meets Cocaine Bear: pic.twitter.com/3p1I3S9Xaw
— Cinema Strikes Back (@cinema_strikes) March 9, 2021
And there were jokes. When people saw the words “Cocaine Bear,” not a small amount of people thought of Don Jr.
A film by Elizabeth Banks 🎥 pic.twitter.com/sVPlXefHwj
— The Astute Galoot (@TheAstuteGaloot) March 9, 2021
Did someone say cocaine bear? https://t.co/dYgaedWRAf
— Holly Figueroa O'Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) March 9, 2021
Cocaine Bear sounds like Don Jr's Grindr name.
— 💀DeathMetalViking💀 (@DeathMetalV) March 9, 2021
Here's a sneak peek of Cocaine Bear. https://t.co/rVWRqna3cf
— David Weissman (@davidmweissman) March 9, 2021
Cocaine Bear aka the alias Don Jr. uses to check into hotels.
— Angela Belcamino (@AngelaBelcamino) March 9, 2021
And Alfred Molina in Boogie Nights.
In this house, we only recognize one cocaine bear pic.twitter.com/OTxRVUFRsi
— Abraham Riesman אברהם ריסמאַן (@abrahamjoseph) March 9, 2021
Cocaine Bear wasn’t the only good title on Tuesday. There was also Nightbitch, starring Amy Adams.
cinema is alive, baby!! https://t.co/pz4RW86epa
— Brian Formo (Team Godzilla) (@BrianFormo) March 9, 2021
In any case, Cocaine Bear will shoot this summer, though details, such as who will be in it, are currently being kept under wraps. But honestly with a title like that, Banks is already halfway there.