Hey, do you wanna see a bunch of beefy bad boys whomp on each other, sometimes with their fists but also with trays and champagne bottles and possibly a flamethrower? How about what appears to be an evil superhuman Stringer Bell? In a movie starring The Rock and Jason Statham? I mean, you probably do, right? What else are you doing that’s so great? Nothing, probably. You have plenty of time to talk about the first trailer for Hobbs & Shaw with me.
Yup, that’s what this is. The first trailer for the first Fast & Furious spin-off — I say first because I am still hoping for a Ghost Han movie at some point — is here and it is pretty much exactly what you think it is. Everybody’s whupping on each other and jumping off things and cars are flying through the air. There is no false advertising here. Let’s dive in.
We open with fancy cars and fancy music and Idris Elba’s character, “a ghost” named Brixton, saying the following sentences:
- “I’m dealing with the future of the planet”
- “I’m the necessary shock to the system”
- “I am human evolutionary change”
Well, okay! And as soon as he’s done saying these things, it cuts to the clip above of him getting blasted with some sort of… science lasers? I’m not sure what’s going on. I am fairly sure that we appear to be dealing with… a superhuman Idris Elba?!
It was only a matter of time before something like this happened. It’s the natural next step. This whole thing started with Vin Diesel running a lunch counter and stealing DVD players. In the last movie before this one, The Fate of the Furious, all the members of The Family were recruited by a secret government agency to stop a cyberterrorist played by Charlize Theron from stealing a nuclear submarine. Why wouldn’t there be a spin-off about The Rock and Jason Statham fighting a lasered-up supervillain — kind of Bane meets Thanos meets any number of comic book characters — played by Idris Elba?
I still believe this franchise goes to outer space eventually.
Bam, thwap, it’s The Rock emmeffers. Or rather, it’s Luke Hobbs, his character in this universe who was introduced in Fast Five as a no-nonsense hardass who provides helpful reminders about the other characters by saying “I read your file” and then listing off their important biographical information. The character has evolved. He has jokes now. He’s more like your general Rock character, from other Rock movies, still a badass but a little goofier.
This is not necessarily a complaint, especially when you consider all the stuff I just typed about how crazy the franchise has gotten in the last couple of decades. If Vin Diesel can drive a million dollar sports car across the sky between Abu Dhabi skyscrapers, The Rock can have jokes. It’s only fair.
Bam, thwap, now it’s Jason Statham. Or rather, it’s Deckard Shaw, his character in this universe who was introduced in Furious 7 — well, technically in Tokyo Drift — and fired a bazooka at Vin Diesel as he soared between those skyscrapers. Also, he killed Han. It’s incredible to me how quickly we’ve all gotten over that. He killed Han, arguably the best character this big/dumb/glorious franchise has ever seen, and now he’s just been folded in like it never happened. He helped save the day in Fate of the Furious while carrying a baby. Again, it’s best if you don’t ask questions.
Anyway, I would consider it a great honor — a privilege, really — to have Jason Statham deliver a swift kick to my sternum and send me rocketing through a window.
We also meet Vanessa Kirby’s character, Hattie Shaw, sister of Deckard. (Kirby was also in the most recent Mission: Impossible movie. She’s everywhere right now. It’s cool.) She is an MI6 agent, like Deckard was, and is also now the fourth member of the Shaw family we’ve met, after brother Owen was the villain in the sixth movie and Magdalene was introduced as the family matriarch. Magdalene is played by Helen Mirren. Helen Mirren is in the Fast & Furious movies. This might somehow be the craziest thing about this franchise.
My point here is that the Shaw family fascinates me. It’s got spies, villains, spies turned villains turned good guys, and Helen Mirren. I would also watch a spin-off about their family life. The fights over the bathroom in high school must have been intense.
This is a GIF of a superhuman Idris Elba punching Jason Statham and The Rock so hard that they fly through the air and into parked vehicles. It’s notable because it’s kind of hilarious, first of all, but also because The Rock — just two movies ago — flexed a cast off of his arm. He flexed so hard a whole cast just disintegrated off of his biceps. That’s why they had to give Idris Elba superpowers in this movie. Because otherwise none of this would be believable.
To the degree any of it is believable.
Shut up.
I have no clue why or how this stripped-down Batmobile is corkscrewing through the air but it looks cool so it is in the post. It’s that simple. We’re not doing hard science here.
We close our discussion with this clip of a dangling skyscraper shenanigan. The Rock is diving toward the ground, Statham is in an elevator, everyone is shooting and mouthing cuss words at each other and Statham gives The Rock a little golf clap at the end. I don’t know how much this movie will lean into Comedy Statham, but please do note that he was so good in Spy and we don’t talk about it enough. Go watch Spy. You have time. This movie doesn’t come out until August.
In conclusion, I’ve been so excited about the idea of The Rock and Jason Statham in a Fast & Furious spin-off that it just dawned on me about 48 hours ago that this movie will have a plot. I can’t wait.
