Let’s pretend The Slap never happened. What would be the defining storyline of the 2022 Oscars? Would it be the historical wins, like Ariana DeBose becoming the first openly queer actress of color to take home an acting award? Or CODA pulling an upset over The Power of the Dog and winning Best Picture? Or the how-do-you-do-fellow-kids desperation of handing the reigns to Twitter (always a bad idea) to decide the “Oscars Cheer Moment” and “Fan-Favorite Award,” both of which went to Zack Snyder movies?
For me, someone who cares too much about dumb awards shows, the defining storyline and the number that should lead every “2022 Oscars by the Numbers” article was: 222. That’s how long, in minutes, Sunday’s Academy Awards lasted after many bad decisions were made trying to shorten the ceremony.
Here’s how it compared to previous years (in hours):
2022: 3:42
2021: 3:19
2020: 3:36
2019: 3:21
2018: 3:52
2017: 3:49
2016: 3:37
The Oscars couldn’t find time for eight categories to be shown in full — Best Film Editing and Best Original Score, among others, were handed out before the ceremony and awkwardly edited into the live broadcast — but there was space given to multiple monologues, a crummy Spider-Man joke, celebrations of White Men Can’t Jump and Pulp Fiction (on the 28th anniversary?), and an awkward seat-filler bit with Kristen Dunst. I hope all the controversy — and royally pissing off otherwise under-recognized folks who help make movies great — was worth it for the longest ceremony since 2018.
The Academy needs to make a choice: find a way to keep the ceremony at a tight three-ish hours, or embrace the bloat. I support the latter. The longest Oscars ever was in 2002 (the year A Beautiful Mind won Best Picture) at four hours and twenty-three minutes. I have faith that next year’s telecast can beat the record. Hand out more Twitter awards, double the number of hosts to six, get the cast of Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World to reunite for the 20th anniversary (seriously, I want this to happen). Otherwise, we’re stuck in this awkward middle-ground where the Oscars is too long to be entertaining, but too short to be comical. It’s time to make history.
