The Most Entourage-y Lines From GQ’s ‘Entourage’ Cast Profile (There Are A Lot)

On June 3, 2015, the world at-large will finally find out whether or not Vince is gonna do the movie when — after eight seasons on HBO and a four-year hiatus — Entourage jumps from the small screen to a theater near you.

Ahead of the movie’s theatrical release, KSK O.G. Drew Magary bro-ed out (or is it down?) with the cast of the film. We already told you about the Jeremy Piven highlights, but there’s so much more to enjoy.

SEX! CARS! WOMEN! SPORTS! V.I.P! NAME-DROPPING! The resulting profile is overflowing with the kind of quotes that you’d expect to find in a feature on the cast of a movie about a movie star who fancies himself a director while his cronies chase tail all over Hollywood.

  • “Over near the water station, an assistant is rubbing bronzer on Piven’s ankles.”
  • “As a bonus, the movie also functions as a blank canvas for endless luxury-product placement. One particularly fancy Cadillac convertible gets so much screen time, it should get a SAG card.”
  • “No need for menus. Ordering is for peasants and losers. Food and drinks simply materialize before us. We toast: TO US.”
  • “Piven, wearing fancy glasses and a suede fedora, loosens up and talks about the apartment he has in London: ‘I usually rent a flat, as they call it.'”
  • “As plates of decadent food are shuttled to and from the table, we cover a lot of strong guy-conversation topics, like Jay Cutler …”
  • “‘I still can’t get over how big Dr. Dre is,’ Ferrara says. ‘He’s just jacked.'”
  • “More drinks arrive. Randy Jackson shows up (Dawg!) and the crowd begins to swell. The cast poses in front of branded signage. Kevin Hart shows up with an actual entourage, including a tall dude in a bow tie and glasses who looks like Brother Mouzone from The Wire.

If the actual movie is half as bro as the scenes painted in Magary’s GQ piece, it’ll make last weekend’s NCAA Men’s Lacrosse Final Four look like a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants sequel.

(Via GQ)