Allow me to translate this commercial for Justin Bieber’s vagina perfume for you…
Hey dads. What up? It’s Beibs. How you livin’? Look, I know you’re annoyed with your little baby girl shrieking and screaming my name whenever she sees me flash across the TV and whatnot. And I know that you’d like for her to not rush through her dinner so she can run back to her room and gaze at the posters of me that cover her wall. But look at it like this, Pops. At least it’s me who’s making her cream her panties and not that little zit-faced brat from down the block who you know is probably jacking off to your little angel right this second! Wouldn’t you rather have her anguish for the peen of a far-away, dreamy fantasy like me than that kid? Of course you would. So buy her some of my vagina-topped perfume for Christmas!
Marketing and commerce, y’all!
