One of the world’s greatest injustices — top five, at least — is that regular schmoes like you and me don’t get to have our own entrance music. In fact, outside of professional wrestlers, baseball players walking up to the plate, and a handful of magicians and public speakers, almost no one gets to use their own entrance music. What a shame. Imagine how much more fun court would be if both lawyers and the judge got to enter the courtroom to a song of their choosing. Or if the manager at a supermarket got to blast a song over the store’s loudspeakers every time he or she needed to come out of the office to void a purchase at a register. It might get old eventually, sure, but let’s not let that stop us from enjoying it until it does.
So, this week’s discussion topic: What song would you choose as your entrance music? Any scenario is fine. Pretend you’re a wrestler or a slugging first baseman stepping up to the plate with the game on the line, or imagine you’re taking the stage to give a big speech or performance, or whatever. What song are you picking for your dramatic introduction? Choose wisely. I have selected “The Champ” by Ghostface Killah. I’m coming in hot.
Here are a few from the staff. Feel free to add yours below.
“Bombs Over Baghdad” is the only song I’ve consistently kept on a running mix for going on two decades since it never fails to pump me up to the point where I think I should spar with a bobcat, so even though I’m aware I’d look ludicrous entering any sort of anything to that track I’d still do it for the adrenaline rush.
Also one of my all time favorite karaoke choices, I feel that there are few songs that embody my uh, “essence” quite as succinctly as Violent Femmes “Kiss Off.” This probably won’t come as a huge surprise to anyone who has ever met me in person or read anything I’ve written on the internet.
I’d opt for the 10-hour version of “The Song That Never Ends” from the Lamb Chop Play-Along children’s television show in the ’90s. The original is bad enough, but why a 10-hour YouTube loop? Because “some men just want to watch the world burn.”
“Peace Train” by Cat Stevens. It’ll lull everyone into thinking I’m a gentle, peace-loving hippie, before I bash them on the head with a metal chair. Either that, or D.O.A.’s “Let’s F*ck.” One of the two.
My reluctant entrance music is going to have to be “Girls And Boys” by Blur, because if everybody else is going to make such a big deal out of my indecipherable gender, I may as well embrace their confusion and shower the crowd with glitter, purple condoms, and dental dams before disappearing in a puff of rainbow smoke. I’ll claim I’m ditching the event for a cooler party, but really I’m just going home to chill with my cat and play The Sims.
While the greatest song of all-time is undoubtedly Nelson’s “Love and Affection,” it doesn’t bode well for entering a ring, octagon or any shape of combat, as I’m picturing myself defending the UFC’s Light Heavyweight title for the 69th consecutive time. Perhaps as at-bat or a closer’s music, but for beating my rivals to a pulp with my fists and feet of fury, I want to get a little pumped up as I walk out, staring the loser in the eyes. “Kickstart My Heart” is one of the Top 3 songs of all-time, most notably for its bad-assery, so it’s the only choice here.
Europe, “Final Countdown.” If you’re at all familiar with 1980s basketball, you know this was the entrance song for the Bad Boys Pistons—the greatest team in the history of organized basketball. WARNING: You’ll want to run through a brick wall in the next 30 seconds; wear a helmet.
Jimmy Ray’s only hit makes me want to shake my ass and the lyrics make it clear that you shouldn’t f*ck with me, “‘less you feelin’ dangerous.” It’s the perfect pump-up/psych-out song and it’s deceptive because it’s being sang in a disco trailer park by an 87lb Elvis impersonator with puppy dog eyes and a dance crew.
I’ve been kickboxing for a few years now, so I actually have thought about my entrance music. And I find that whenever Queen is playing, I feel pretty unstoppable. Freddie is my boy. Freddie is liquid sex and energy and confidence, human lightning, someone who is so unabashedly himself as a performer. And some of those lyrics are just the best: tigers, atom bombs, Mr. Fahrenheit, ready to explode… everything about that song makes me feel like I could barrel through a brick wall without so much as chipping nail polish. There is a reason this song keeps popping up in the most joyfully weird places, like Shaun of the Dead and Paul Rudd’s lip-synching performances — it’s The Best.
“Slow Ride” by Foghat. What is there to say? Perfect for any relief pitching appearance, daily commute, or grocery store entrance. Would also use the ‘Simon & Simon’ theme song.
NOFX, Linoleum/The Misfits, Hybrid Moments
Jamie stole “Don’t Stop Me Now,” which is obviously the best entrance music, as it compares the singer to both a race car and Lady Godiva. It was between that and a whole host of punk songs, which I’ve been listening to since I was 12 solely because it makes me want to run outside and flip over cars, which I imagine is what you want in an entrance song. (Speaking of, have you ever heard The Vandals cover of “Don’t Stop Me Now?” It’s great.) I still love Dan Hardy for coming out to Cock Sparrer for his UFC fights. Anyway, I couldn’t decide between NOFX, which is more the generation of punk I grew up with, or The Misfits, which seems to fit the idea of entrance music better lyrically. I do like the idea of coming out to a song that starts with “If you’re gonna scream, scream with me.”