Here Are All The Reasons Why Beyoncé And Jay Z Are DEFINITELY Divorcing

Type in “beyonce jay z breaking up reasons” into Google and here’s what you get:

A new year, a new round of breakup rumors. It’s been that way since 2006, apparently, and it’s certainly that way now, where headlines like “Love Is Dead: Beyoncé and Jay Z’s Marriage Reportedly Coming to an End” are commonplace. And we’re here to join in on the fun! Here are all the FOOLPROOF reasons why Bey and Jay are divorcing, but don’t worry, kids, it has nothing to do with you.

Faded ink…DIVORCE.

Following the couple’s recent family drama with her sister Solange Knowles, some fans have noticed that the “IV” ink Beyonce has on her left ring finger appears a bit lighter these days. The “IV” tattoo, which the Grammy winner got in honor of her and Jay’s birthdays (his is Dec. 4 and hers is Sept. 4) and their wedding date (Apr. 4), appeared somewhat faded and dull in color. (Via)

Jay was maybe, possibly, could have been cheating…DIVORCE.

“She’s heard all the rumors about Jay fooling around, and she can’t take it anymore. The romance is over,” In Touch magazine claims. “He was toasting champagne with the crew and friends and some women who were brought back stage. Beyonce seethed when she saw a busty blonde nuzzling into Jay’s chest and him whispering something into her ear.” (Via)

Jay was maybe, possibly, could have been cheating on Bey with Mya…DIVORCE.

Earlier today, the Internet was ablaze with reports that Jay had been having a long-term affair with Mya. But as quickly as the rumors spread, the 34-year-old singer took to Instagram to swiftly put out the flames.

In response to a user asking Mya if she was Jay’s mistress, Mya wrote, “Never did, never was, never will. Illegitimate, thirsty sources with no facts and that’s the ‘media’ for you-especially today. I play second to no one, pay my own bills, have my own label, own management company, rely on God only and respect myself & marriage too much for nonsense.” (Via)

New lyrics…DIVORCE.

Original Lyrics

“I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good
Like I couldn’t do it for you like your mistress could
Been ridin’ with you for six years…
I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me.”

New Lyrics

“I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good
Like I couldn’t do it for you like that wack bitch could
Been ridin’ with you for twelve years…
I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me.
She ain’t even half of me. That bitch will never be.” (Via)

Elevator fights…DIVORCE.

All the issues rose to the surface in May when Solange Knowles and Jay Z got into an altercation in an elevator. Nobody still really knows what happened before, during or after, but there are thoughts that it was due to her brother-in-law’s string of women and the way he treats Beyonce. However, Queen B stood back and just watched it all happen and later went to bed. Shortly after the elevator incident rumors started that the two were divorcing. The 32-year-old had reportedly had enough and was starting to think her marriage was over. (Via)

Blue Ivy is a literal divide…DIVORCE.

The only thing standing between Jay and Bey is their daughter Blue Ivy. (Via)

The marriage is a business arrangement…DIVORCE.

We have told you MANY times before that this high-profile marriage is just a business arrangement. We have also told you that this business arrangement will wind down after their current project is finished. Well, it’s almost over!

They are splitting up everything (properties, money, child/ren) right now, but will be keeping up appearances until the announcement. They are separating this year, with the divorce to follow in about six months. It will be very clean and very fast. In fact, the parties involved are describing the timeline as “Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes fast.” (Via)

So, there you have, folks, DIVORCETOWN: population, Jay and Bey.

God, they look so sad, don’t they?