In Case You Were Wondering, Chris Brown Is Still The Absolute Worst

An admission: I really go out of my way to avoid thinking about Chris Brown at all because merely thinking about Chris Brown is bad for the soul. The guy is just a cancer on everything. But in the wake of a lot of people being bent that he was such a big part of Sunday’s Grammys broadcast, more and more people outside of his delusional “Team Breezy” death cult seem to be willing to express sympathy for Brown, and I can no longer bite my tongue.

Here’s the thing: defenders of Chris Brown mainly defend him by pointing out that other male entertainers who’ve been charged with domestic violence don’t get near the level of sh*t that Chris Brown does. And this is true, to some degree, but there are reasons for it.

The first, and perhaps the most important, is that Chris Brown has been absolutely unrepentant for his actions. Any and all acts of contrition he’s put forth have been half-a$s and ultimately overshadowed by his continued public defiance. He’s been known to throw insane tantrums for merely being asked questions about the incident with Rihanna, and his Twitter feed has been a continuous source of petulant buffoonery for as long as I can remember.

A consistent pattern is in place: Brown tweets something retarded, people go crazy, and then he, or someone who works for him, deletes it. Never was this more the case than the night of the Grammys, when he unleashed a string of “F*CK YOU, HATERZ!” tweets that perfectly epitomized why most people, myself included, are simply unwilling to just forgive him and let it all go. And, of course, they’ve all since been deleted — he now has only nine tweets showing on his account — but screengrabs abound on the web, because, unfortunately for people like Brown, the web never forgets anything, including scandalous leaked DMs.

Finally, there’s this: Chris Brown did not just hit Rihanna. Have you ever read the full police account of what happened that night? It’s arguable that he was trying to kill her. It’s not like this was a slap or a shove in the heat of the moment that was then immediately recognized as an overstep. No, dude went after her hard, again and again and again.

“A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.

“Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.

“Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, ‘I’m going to beat the sh– out of you when we get home! You wait and see!’ “

The detective said “Robyn F.” then used her cell phone to call her personal assistant Jennifer Rosales, who did not answer.

“Robyn F. pretended to talk to her and stated, ‘I’m on my way home. Make sure the police are there when I get there.’

“After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, ‘You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!’

Now, if this weren’t enough, rather than cool off a bit, dude appeared hell-bent on actually following through on his death threat.

“Brown resumed punching Robyn F. and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist, placing her elbows and face near her lap in [an] attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon her by Brown.

“Brown pulled Robyn F. close to him and bit her on her left ear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle in front of 333 North June Street and Robyn F. turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition and sat on it.

“Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F.’s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness.

“She reached up with her left hand and began attempting to gouge his eyes in an attempt to free herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her. While Brown continued to punch her, she turned around and placed her back against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away. Brown continued to punch her on the legs and feet, causing several contusions.

“Robyn F. began screaming for help and Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighborhood heard Robyn F.’s plea for help and called 911, causing a police response.

Go on, go read the whole thing. There’s so much more.

Maybe the day will come when Chris Brown will not be a piece of sh*t, but he was a piece of sh*t then, and he still is now. Period.

UPDATE: Your boy has a new pickup line, and it’s a doozy.

(Pic via Chris Brown’s Twitter, tweet screengrab via Mashable)