Yesterday was National One Hit Wonder Day (unless you’re a member of the Tommy Tutone family, in which case every day is National One Hit Wonder Day). It’s getting tougher and tougher to remember every single smash phenomenon (not as catchy) because the Internet finds a new singing sensation seemingly every hour. In fact, the likes of Rebecca Black and Chocolate Rain Guy, I guess, have knocked many “musicians” who actually appeared on THE RADIO in the 2000s out of our memories and into our brains’ trash cans. But here are 10 who might be worth remembering, either because they’re not half-bad or because they’re so bad that they need to be ridiculed again. I didn’t include acts like Afroman because everyone remembers Afroman. I hope.
Song: “Gotta Tell You” by Samantha Mumba
As far as overproduced early-2000s pop goes, which includes approximately every song released in the 2000s, “Gotta Tell You” is actually quite good, with Mumba never trying to sing over the admittedly catchy beat.
Song: “Absolutely (Story of a Girl)” by Nine Days
I bought the album this single appeared on, The Maddening Crowd (a Thomas Hardy reference!), because it featured a song called “Bob Dylan,” and I love nothing more than Long Island rock bands namedropping Bob Dylan. JK. I bought The Maddening Crowd because “Absolutely (Story of a Girl)” is great and you’re wrong if you disagree. Also, I just noticed that the keyboard player dresses like Jesse Pinkman.
Song: “Another Dumb Blonde” by Hoku
I’m not gonna front (2000s talk!): this song is garbage, but even though I haven’t listened to it in at least five years, I wordlessly hum the chorus at least once a week, despite not remembering its origin until putting together this post. That’s the sign of a pop song doing its work.
Song: “So in Love with Two” by Mikaila
Mikaila was 14 years old when this song came out. That makes me feel weird. She released one more single, then stopped. According to Wikipedia, she is “of French, Spanish and Aztec Indian descent.” Good to know.
Song: “Hit ’em Up Style (Oops!)” by Blu Cantrell
Speaking of Wikipedia facts, “At the age of 19 [Blu Cantrell] posed as a nude model for Black Tail. She has defended this by saying: ‘I have posed nude in the past and I will in the future, I’m not making porn, porn is when you do a video of sex. Posing nude is not making porn.'”
Song: “Hemorrhage (In My Hands)” by Fuel
This song is only worth remembering because “Memories are just where you laid them/Dragging the waters til the depths give up their dead” is an amazing way to begin a song. It’s cryptic! But means nothing! Brilliant!
Song: “Crazy for This Girl” Evan and Jaron
True story: the first time I visited New York City as a teenager, I made my mom take me to MTV Studios in Times Square so that I could watch a live taping of TRL. We couldn’t actually be in the audience with Carson, because she was a mom and I was ugly, but I made sure to wear my loudest orange shirt so that I could be spotted outside by the cameras during the exterior shots. Evan and Jaron were the musical guests that day, they played “Crazy for This Girl,” and if anyone happened to record that TRL from some cold anonymous day in 2000, I’d really appreciate a copy. I’m the guy in the orange shirt. Thanks.
Song: “Maybe I Deserve” by Tank
Unlike pretty much everyone else on this list, Tank is still around and making music. I hope he still has that same pair of light blue pants.
Song: “Where the Stars and Stripes and the Eagle Fly” by Aaron Tippin
Song: “F*ck It (I Don’t Want You Back)” by Eamon
Long before I was aware of “F*ck Da Police,” there was “F*ck It (I Don’t Want You Back),” which is in the Guinness Book of World Records for the most expletives in a #1 song, with 33. Fantastic karaoke song, FYI.