It’s been a good week for white rappers, which is a weird sentence. Both Eminem and Action Bronson released new albums, new albums that just so happen to be sequels to arguably their greatest works. (Blue Chips 2 > The Marshall Mathers LP 2.) It might be awhile until “white” and “rap” are used positively in the same sentence, so in honor of Shady and Bam Bam, let’s rank eight of the greatest albums from white rappers.
#8. The Cactus Album by 3rd Bass
For awhile there, in the early 1990s, you couldn’t have a conversation about 3rd Bass without also mentioning the Beastie Boys. I guess the same is still true, considering I just mentioned 3rd Bass in the same sentence with the Beastie Boys, but that’s not giving the Def Jam trio enough credit: they might be best known as the “second white hip-hop group,” but their debut, The Cactus Album, is by no means a copy-cat; it’s inventive (with beats courtesy of Sam Sever and the Bomb Squad, among others), often hilarious while still remaining aggressive, and still sounds fresh. One might even say 3rd Bass hit a home run (but they shouldn’t because that’s awful).
#7. The Future Is Now by Non Phixion
Ill Bill, Goretex, and Sabac Red are one of the strongest truly underrated rap trios in history. They work together in perfect horrific harmony, assuredly spitting rhymes like, “The government, these other kids, it’s like the drunken bitch/That sucked a hundred dicks at your party then cried rape” that would make most others blush. The heavy production comes courtesy of an insane collection of talent, including DJ Premier, Pete Rock, and Large Professor, who make the underground The Future Is Now sound professionally paranoid.
#5. Labor Days by Aesop Rock
With every album, Ian Matthias Bavitz, or as he’s better known Aesop Rock, gets more and more popular, culminating (for now at least) with the release of last year’s Skelethon, which debuted in the Billboard Top 30. But you have to go back to 2001 to find his best work. That would be the wordy Labor Days, a concept record about day-to-day existence. The beats are solid, but never distract from the real star: Aesop’s flow, which always sounds far more rapid than it is. He raps clearly and convincingly, and abstractly, and his fame is well deserved.
#4. Cancer 4 Cure by El-P
Cancer 4 Cure makes me feel like a pussy. It’s so hard, so pent-up with rage, so banging that I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the record holder for the “21st century album that’s blown out the most headphones.” In savage jitters, El P spins unrelentingly suspicious political fantasies that sound real when he says them; one moment, you’re a pacifist, the next, you’re following General P into battle against an unseen enemy, bazooka in hand.
#3. The Marshall Mathers LP by Eminem
Most of Eminem’s albums don’t age well. The Slim Shady LP sounds VERY 1999, while The Eminem Show feels like the document of a time gone by, because it has. The one exception to this rule: The Marshall Mathers LP, Slim’s one true unapologetic masterpiece. Time has actually helped its legacy: it’s now free from the confines of the manufactured shock that greeted its release and the then-ingenius, now-corny music videos. What we’re left with is Eminem at his most lyrically impressive, brilliantly blurring the line between what’s real and what’s fake, between wanting to be loved and desiring to be hated. No wonder it got a sequel.
#2. Funcrusher Plus by Company Flow
DISCLOSURE: the guys who own this website released Funcrusher Plus on Rawkus Records in 1997. DISCLOSURE: they have very good taste, because not only do they give our Danger Guerrero an opportunity to talk about Scandal, they also realized Funcrusher Plus is a masterpiece, a document of what the East Coast underground scene could sound like at its best. There are no hooks here: just dense minimalist beats and astute, irritated ruminations. Or in El P’s words, “When a Company Flow song comes on it’s like getting shot with a f*cking nail gun. Everything else is like palm trees.” DISCLOSURE: I’m not sucking up for a pay raise, but as long as we’re here…
#1. Paul’s Boutique by Beastie Boys
I mean, obviously. The only question was: which Beastie Boys album? Would it be the punk Licensed to Ill, or the often lyric-less Check Your Heard, or the grown-up Hot Sauce Committee Part Two? Nope, it’s Paul’s Boutique, 53 minutes of thrilling variations on a single theme: stitching together fragments of songs into a greater, comfortable whole. Seriously: THOSE SAMPLES. “High Plains Drifter” alone samples from the Band, Loggins and Messina, the Ramones, and Eagles. One can get a fairly detailed orientation to 20th century pop culture by listening to Paul’s Boutique, not only the best white rapper album, but also one of the best rap albums all-time.
