The Internet Was Surprised To Learn That Eminem’s Daughter Is Very Pretty

Today, in “you’re old and only getting older, and someday, you’re going to die, and everything you’ve accomplished is ultimately meaningless, unless you’re the person who created shoelaces, in which case, good job” news: Eminem’s daughter is 19 years old and very pretty. The high school graduate and homecoming queen is rumored to be pursing “either a psychology or entrepreneurship degree at Michigan State University,” where she won’t have to put up with fellow students yelling “three points for Gryffindor.” Only questions about “Hailie’s Song.”

The internet reaction to her being “beautiful” was that of impending mortality.

Check back in 21 years, when Hallie’s 40 and Eminem’s buddy Dr. Dre still hasn’t released Detox.