The Kreayshawn/Rick Ross Rap Beef Appears To Be Over Before It Even Started, Sadly

In my brief time as editor around these parts, I have done everything humanly possible to avoid the mere mention of Kreayshawn’s name, mainly because the mere mention of Kreayshawn’s name inspires me to stab myself in the eye repeatedly with a toothpick. She’s just the worst. I want to like her. Seriously, I do. She is, after all, a product of the internet. But unlike Rebecca Black, there’s something that scares me about Kreayshawn — people actually take her seriously (God help us all). With all of that said, Kreayshawn’s rap beef with Rick Ross is just too funny for me to pass up.

Having dissed Ross repeatedly in public and in a freestyle, Kreayshawn incurred the wrath of the considerable rapper backstage at the VMAs. After that he issued some thinly veiled threats to Kreayshawn and her handlers in an interview earlier this week.

“I cant wait to slap the shit out of whoever carries her bags,” Ross said. “And I hope it’s her nigga. Dirty bitch. You better know the f*ck you talking about. I’ll pay 50K to mess up your whole week.”

I can’t lie, I LOLed pretty hard when I read that Rick Ross had called the Casey Anthony look-a-like a “dirty bitch” and was really looking forward to the escalation of this beef, but Kreayshawn now claims that she settled everything with a gift of … wait for it … a few steaks. Kreayshawn ended a beef with literal beef. Perfect!

“No, I bought (Rick Ross friend and collaborator) DJ Khaled a couple steaks and we worked everything out,” Kreayshawn told Urbanworld TV. “As far as that, nothing’s popping off. It’s just a little rough patch at the VMAs, but we got all over it. It’s all over now.” Kreayshawn also went on to explain that she’s merely just misunderstood: “I feel like a comedienne at times, because I’m a funny down to earth person. So some things that I do and say get read wrong because I’m not some label chick that randomly made it.”

Um, okay — whatever. The full interview’s below. I’ll buy you a Coke if you can make it through the whole thing without having the sound of her voice make you want to bludgeon a child.

And I totally blame Kreayshawn for giving rise to this Iggy Azalea horsesh*t…

Somebody please make it stop!