Everyone’s least favorite alleged domestic abuser, War “Jon Koppenhaver” Machine recently took to Twitter to opine about a number of things. First, he starts in on the usual, about how Christy Mack is a terrible liar:
“In the blink of an eye my awesome little life became worthless. The woman who wanted to marry me now actively tries to ruin my life; she even adds lies to an already fucked situation, and she does so without remorse. Throughout my life I may have hurt loved ones while in fits of rage, but I could never even imagine hurting them with premeditation, cold calculation, and lies. That takes a sicker person then I.”
Then, things get weird in War Machine’s brain, or he’s been reading some freshman physics books:
“Newtonian physics is dead, quantum physics says that solid objects aren’t solid at all…Broken down to the molecule…to the atom…to the electron- it’s just energy. Then I should be able to find a way to reach right through those cinderblocks, walk right through them… Maybe somewhere, some monk knows how? I’ve seen photos of Indian yogis levitating; maybe they know how to move through walls as well?”
Next up, it’s science time with professor Machine (please, nobody ever give War Machine a baby):
“Maybe if you took a baby, and told them that they could, maybe their mind wouldn’t be held to the same constraints as ours and they’d be able to walk right through the walls. If I were a king, I’d take a group of babies and raise them with the belief that they could do all sorts of things… See what type of magic unfolds. There is magic.”
Finally, he ends with a plea to make amends for his transgressions:
“Who else knows magic? I wish I knew some. I’m a good person, I truly am, but I’ve made mistakes… I wish I knew magic so that I could go back and fix those mistakes”
I’m not an expert, but I don’t know if there’s any definition of the term that would categorize War Machine as “a good person”.
