The 5 Best Things About ‘Pitbull BJJ,’ The Derpy Masterpiece Of Dog MMA Videos

In preparation for this piece, I watched Gene Cook, Jr.’s Pitbull BJJ about sixty times. Now that I’ve truly let it sink in, here are my five favorite things about it.

First, the video itself, which you should’ve already rushed to click when you saw that picture:

1. The Narrator

It’s impossible to tell what the funniest, weirdest, saddest part of Pitbull BJJ is, but the narrator may have it in the bag. As the video stars, a fully geared-up Gene and A PITBULL IN A GI* sit motionless, waiting for the instructional video to start. The defeated voice of the narrator chimes in. “Yeah … okay, you can go.” As if to say, “Jesus, Gene, when are you gonna stop doing MMA moves to the dogs?”

*When they bought that for their dog, I hope they asked, “how much is that dog gi in the window?”

2. Gene


3. BJJ Pitbull himself

Koa has got to be the coolest, most chill dog alive. He’s like a grappling dummy. He just lies there and lets this guy put him in armbars and shit, because he’s probably had to go through this a hundred thousand times before. Rear naked choke? No problem. Scissor sweep? Easy. Showtime Kick?

(Do not Showtime Kick your dog, Gene.)

4. The YouTube Disclaimer

This is a brief video that displays some fundamental BJJ techniques. Warning: KIDS! DO NOT TRY THIS WITH PITBULLS. Not all pitbulls know BJJ and they might freak out.

No shit, Gene.

5. Koa is also an accomplished street fighter

Now I want to see Kimbo Slice take a dive for Koa. Not even kidding.

[h/t to ME]